


See the stars shining through

by Writelikethat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Bisexual Dean, Blow Jobs, Cowboy Dean, Drinking, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Jealous Dean, Kissing, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-10
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-01 00:11:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 37,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5184893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writelikethat/pseuds/Writelikethat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel go with Meg when she plans her wedding with a cowboy - on his ranch. Cas always thought cowboys were loud and dirty, but he will soon find out that is anything but the case. He still won't take a chance on showing all of himself, who knows what these wild people can do? Cas soon finds out he might not be the only one keeping a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Changes

Cas and Meg had been friends pretty much since they were babies. They had lived next to each other since they were four years old, went to kindergarten together and since then they stuck together through everything. After high school they went separate ways, Cas studying marketing and Meg became a nurse. Holidays and vacations were still requiring each other to count and they knew everyone eventually expected them to be a couple, get married and have kids one day, but they never thought so. It wasn’t like they hadn’t tried out stuff with each other, that was just a part of growing up so close, but they never thought about getting together for real. 

When Meg announced that she was engaged, Cas was not surprised. Meg had been together with a down to earth kind of guy who was getting a degree in farm and ranch management, for three years. An engagement was just the next step.  
However, what did surprise Cas was Meg’s decision to move out into the country with the guy. Cas knew Meg. She loved the city. Loved the loud buzz from cars and people being busy and a restaurant or a bar was just a few blocks away. 

“When did that happen?” Cas asked and refilled his wineglass.

“Well, it's been in the air I guess. He’s got a house there on his family’s ranch. It’s so beautiful up there you have no idea!” Meg said laughing a happy and sincere laugh. 

“It feels natural, like that’s what I’m supposed to do. I want to be with him, and he's not that happy here in the city. All he’s been working for here is so that he can take over the ranch and make it succeed.” She told him and Cas nodded looking down into his glass. 

“But… What are you going to do? It’s a ranch!” Cas insisted. Meg just kept giggling. 

“I will try and get a job at the local hospital. I don’t think it will be that different from here except maybe it’s a bit smaller.” 

“A bit smaller? It’s a place full of rowdy cowboys with dirty hands and no time for personal hygiene.” Cas muttered grabbing the bottle, not even bothering filling up the glass as he lifted it to drink from it. 

“Cas. That’s a kind of stereotype which does not exactly fit. Benny’s father is the coolest man ever!” She exclaimed. 

“Yeah, I heard about him.” Cas said slowly. He had gotten all the stories about Benny’s family and honestly they all seemed like really nice people. Welcoming her into the family, showing her around and making sure she felt at home. Cas knew he shouldn’t be like this, he was supposed to be happy for her. Meg had struggled enough with stupid family members who cared more about themselves than their child. 

“Why are you like this?” Meg finally got enough of his negativity.

“It’s just… I can’t picture you on a ranch, Meg. You love a crowded club, dancing, going to the park and look at how the children play around. Having everything close is what you always said was the best about the city.” Cas told her, feeling the room starting to spin. Maybe having this conversation while drunk wasn’t the best idea.

“That’s because I’m used to it. I like it here, sure, but Benny loves his home, and as I started going there more and more I really do to. I would love to live there; it’s so safe and pretty. The perfect place to one day raise children, Cas. If you just came with me you would see what I mean.” She tried. 

Cas nodded. Her words hurting in a way he couldn’t explain. All he knew was that his best friend was moving away, far away from him and everything that was familiar. 

“Yeah, I will visit you when you move, of course I will.” Cas said forcing a smile. He tried to stand up. Meg didn’t say anything for a while. 

“Cas look at me.” 

He turned around slowly. 

“We are going to have the wedding on the ranch.” She said with a tentative smile. Cas stared at her in silence. 

“In the mountains in the middle of nowhere?” He whispered and noticed how she swallowed hard. 

“Yes, Cas. It only makes sense. We’re moving there anyway and I don’t have that big of a family who want to come so it'll be much easier for his family and friends if it was held there.”

“Easier? What about what you want? Isn’t that a part of this? I always thought you were dreaming of having your wedding by the sea.” He said. 

“I know, but I like it there. And I would really love it if you gave it a chance as well.” Meg looked up at him while she shoved a dark curl behind her ear, a nervous act. 

“I need… to go now.” Cas started walking towards the door. 

“Don’t be difficult. I know it’s not everything we talked about, but even if I love him you’re still my best friend, Cas.” She said. “No one is taking you away from me if that’s what you are afraid of.”

“That’s what I know, Meg. He makes you happy but now he’s taking you away from me, far into the country! Away from everything that has been your life!”  
Meg nodded, her eyes brimming with tears. 

“I know, but you knew it was a possibility from the moment things got serious with Benny. And we will still be friends, Cas.”

“We can try, but it always ends the same when someone is moving. In a few years you will be visiting the city and we will meet for coffee, but nothing is the same!”

“Please, Cas. I need you to understand this.” 

Cas pressed his fingers to his eyes as he shook his head. 

“I can’t do this.” He said and staggered outside.

 

Waking up the next morning was hell. It was hot inside his room, his head hurt and he felt utterly guilty about his argument with Meg. It wasn’t fair to her that he struggled with the idea of being left behind. Meg was happy with Benny and Cas knew he was a great guy. Over the years they had become friends and there was no doubt that the big bearded cowboy and Meg actually made each other’s dreams come true. 

Cas and Meg had been fighting a lot through the years due to her flaming temperament and Cas’ principles. He knew how to make it up to her, so he forced his body out of bed and into the shower. Just around the corner of his apartment was a small bakery where Cas could get cinnamon rolls and coffee for them both. Meg opened the door looking sad and Cas handed her the goods. 

Meg didn’t make it easy for him since he had made her feel bad when all she deserved right now was happiness. Cas eventually fell asleep on her couch and that seemed to give her the time she needed to think it through.  
Weeks turned into months and the wedding got closer. Spring was busy for all of them, Cas, Meg and Benny all had finals while at the ranch they were supposedly having new cows being born. Cas didn’t pay that much attention when Benny started to go through everything they had to do on the ranch. It all sounded like dirty and heavy work. 

 

The wedding was just three weeks after graduation so Meg would head to the ranch as soon as they finished and she tried to persuade Cas to come with her. As the weeks got closer Cas started noticing Meg being nervous about everything she had to do before her big day, and he couldn’t let her be there alone if she needed him so he decided to go when she did. 

Benny told them they should fly, but Meg insisted on bringing as much as she could from her apartment meaning they would have to drive. Benny drove a truck and didn’t let Cas drive even if they had fifteen hours in front of them, at least.  
When they finally pulled off from the main road and under a large sign with bull’s horns hanging on top, Cas were asleep in his seat and Meg leaned against him. 

“Cas, we’re here!” She said as she nudged him awake. He looked around at the landscape he fell asleep to. Great mountains with snow on the tops, trees and lush farmland, he had to admit it was beautiful in its own way, very different from what he was used to, but wild and beautiful. 

Benny let his car roll up a gravel road with a pretty fence and when they came to the last turn Cas could finally see the houses. They had been driving for the entire night and now that it was morning or just before noon the place was crawling with life. 

Meg let out a pleased sigh and smiled as Cas took it all in. He had seen pictures from this place after Meg started visiting, but he definitely hadn’t thought it would look this organized and modern. The main house was at the front with large windows, flowers and a large porch. The stables were placed behind the house and Cas could see people walking back and forth, some with horses, other carried buckets of water or hay. A lot of them were wearing cowboy hats to protect them from the sun that was shining down on them, their jeans were speckled with dirt or other stuff and their shirts rolled up to their elbows. 

“Can you handle meeting the family or do you want to rest for a while?” Meg asked.

“I’m fine.” Cas told her in a quiet voice and she looked at him to make sure he wasn't lying. Cas smiled. 

Benny pointed out the house he and Meg would be living in and Cas turned to give Meg a hug. 

“That's really pretty, I can’t wait to see you running around in there trying to make decent food.” He said and heard Benny chuckle as Meg hugged him back, a warm and lingering squeeze told him he had told her what she needed to hear. 

Their house was a bit smaller than the main house, but just as nice. There were large windows facing a river and farmland stretching out towards the mountains. The porch had a table and chairs that were painted in a light green color and a porch swing with matching pillows. 

Before any of them could get out of the car a woman with curly hair and a bright smile came out the door of the main house. She was wearing a plaid flannel shirt which seemed to function as a tunica and she had an apron tied around her slim waist. 

“Mum!” Benny jumped out of the car and swept her into his arms and she almost disappeared into it. Meg giggled and jumped out after her fiancée and Cas followed. 

“Meg! It’s so nice to finally have you here.” The woman said and hugged Meg tight. Cas stood a few feet behind watching until Meg turned around. He realized that this family probably gave Meg about everything she needed when it came to family feelings. It was a good thing at least. 

“This is Castiel, my rock.” She giggled and introduced Benny’s mother as Amelia. 

“Nice to meet you, Castiel.” She reached out her hand and she may look small, but she was strong. Her smile was genuine and she told him she had been looking forward to meet some of Meg’s friends. 

Cas liked her and even more so when she dragged them inside for lunch. They were all looking so tired but she said they had to eat before going to sleep. 

Cas had told Meg to introduce him as her friend, not maid of honor. 

“I don’t want to be a victim of a hate crime.” He growled and she just rolled her eyes. 

“They aren’t like that.” She said laughing, but promised she wouldn’t say anything about that. Cas said he would help her through it all, but he was really not looking forward to stand on Meg’s side with all the bridesmaids as the only man. Benny had just chuckled at that. 

“No worries, man. Someone might find it at bit funny, but hey, it’s Meg’s decision.” He assured. Cas didn’t feel better. 

 

Cas fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. He was tired after driving for hours and absolutely exhausted from his last weeks of school. He knew there was a party planned that night for Benny since he had graduated and that he and Meg were engaged so he needed the sleep he could get. 

The guest bedroom where Cas was had a cozy bathroom attached and after waking up Cas jumped into the shower. It didn’t take long for him to feel better and when he heard talking from the living room he walked that way.  
Meg and Benny sat in the kitchen drinking coffee. Cas sat down next to Meg. 

“Did you sleep well?” 

“Yes. This house is very nice.” Cas smiled at both of them and Benny gave a genuine smile under his beard. For the hundredth time Cas thought about how different he was from the guy who had captured Meg. Benny was calm and easy to be with as well as a few years older. While Cas was calm he still wasn’t a people-guy like Benny. The man had also achieved more; he owned a house and was supposed to take over the ranch eventually and now he was getting married. Cas wasn’t even in a relationship. 

They got dressed for the party before heading over to Amelia and the rest of Benny’s closest family to have dinner. His father’s name was Joseph and he had four siblings. Cas didn’t remember all of their names, and even if they all welcomed him, he kept quiet most of the dinner. 

Amelia ushered them over into a barn after dinner promising dessert and drinks and Cas was impressed. He had of course heard Meg talk about the parties they would have in one of their barns, but the place was nothing like he pictured. 

First of all it was clean, and then it was so cozy you could almost forget you were in a barn. Cas noticed a long table stretching along one side of the room and it was filled with bottles of beer, drinks and dessert. On the opposite side of the room were benches were some people sat talking, most of those sitting there were older people. Someone was already dancing to the country-music playing from a real band. Which was placed on a small scene in the far end of the room.  
The lighting was dim and a lot of candles were lit around the room. Cas saw Meg give Benny a squeeze and thought that this was really good. A barn might not be a place Cas would think of having a party, but this place were probably used more for different parties than storing hay and old machines. 

Everybody seemed to enjoy the party and once Cas was introduced to some of the people there and gotten a few drinks he felt a lot better. It turned out that Benny had a big family and all of them were absolutely over the moon that he had come home and on top of that was engaged to a pretty young woman. Cas had to tell people about Meg and make sure she was a good lady for their Benny. 

“Hi there. You good? Nobody's bothering you, right?”

Cas turned around looking at a small guy with a goofy smile and converse shoes. He swayed a little from side to side and his eyes were a little glossy, he was obviously drunk. 

“I’m good, thanks.”

“You sure? I mean most people grow tired of talking to a bunch of old women who are just snooping around. I’m Garth, a friend of Benny's.” The guy told him as he reached out a hand. Cas smiled and grabbed it. 

“I’m Cas. And yes, Benny has a big family!” 

Garth laughed out loud, a few people around them turned to look, but they just smiled and let him be, they were probably used to the guy. 

“That he does. They all mean well, though. Come on; let’s go find you a drink and preferably a girl who won’t ask too many questions.” Garth nudged his head in the direction of the tables and Cas followed him through the crowd. 

Garth talked a lot as they grabbed each their bottles of beer and Cas absently wondered if the guy should be drinking anymore.

Cas looked up when the doors to the barn opened. He stared while two of the most handsome men he had ever seen, made their way into the party. They were both tall and one of them had long hair in a pony tail. When he smiled he revealed dimples in his cheeks. Cas took a deep breath as he moved his eyes over to the other guy. His eyes sparkled and he smiled with a mouth that made Cas bite down on his own lip. 

They were both broad and manly and it was obvious they were someone to count in. Everyone seemed to want their attention, girls giggled, guys looked at them and probably wanted to be what they were and the older people looked at them with respect.

“Benny!” The shorter one shouted when they finally noticed him and Benny turned around with a grinning Meg in his arms. Cas watched them exchange heartfelt hugs. 

“That’s the Winchester brothers. They own the ranch a couple miles east of here.” Garth said.

“Oh.” Cas said and pried his eyes away from them. He couldn’t be caught staring like this. 

“Yeah. Everyone wants them on their list for something. Their ranch is the biggest one around here. Good guys.” Garth nodded. “Should make my way over there.” He muttered and burped as he stumbled in their direction.


	2. Novelty

Cas had to take a breath and he chugged down the rest of his beer. He had traveled up her with Meg thinking most of the men up here were like Benny. Bearded, broad, loud and cozy. Cas liked Benny. But it was a safe kind of liking. Benny was a friend which Cas never felt attracted to. These two men and the shortest one in particular were downright sexy. Dangerously sexy. And even if Cas never had any intentions that the guy were anywhere near single, or interested in male company, it would still make his stay a lot harder. If he would have to walk around guys like that he would have trouble keeping his eyes to himself and someone might notice.

“Duude, come on. Dean is like, _the_ coolest guy; you have got to meet him.” Garth slurred before he stumbled in the direction of the new guys.

Cas decided he should just follow. He would probably have to meet them eventually and getting it done was better than putting it off. Garth tapped Dean on his shoulder and the guy turned around with question in his eyes, but when he saw who it was his face turned into a grin. His whole face turned into a wide smile, his eyes crinkled and Cas had to tell himself to look away.

“Garth! You have gotten enough to drink I see.” He laughed with a low and calm voice. Garth just laughed with him and scrambled in for a hug.

“Yeah, okay there, buddy. Someone should drive you home.” Dean said with a friendly pat on his back. The taller guy laughed at them and the same did Benny and Meg.

“Glad you could make it.” Garth said and made a weird boxing in the arm of the tallest one.

“You too.” He said with a huff.

“Guys. I want you to meet Cas. He’s going to stay here until the wedding. My other favorite man.” Meg said and walked over to stand beside Cas. Both men turned their attention to them and Cas felt a sweat break out on his back.  
Attention from these guys was powerful and Cas imagined that being on the wrong side of these guys attention would probably make your life a lot harder.

“Cas, this is Dean and Sam Winchester.” Meg said and Cas remember her talking about two brothers who were close friends of Benny. He just never pictured them like this. Cas had never had the romantic idea of cowboys, he always thought of them as wild men who did whatever they wanted and most of those things being bad.

Cas reached out his hand and the shortest one, still taller than Cas, shook it in a big hand and squeezed tight.

“Dean.” He said with a slight smile on full lips and Cas smiled back while barely making eye contact. Dean’s eyes were green and he had a glee in his eyes making it hard not to be sucked right into it and wanting to be a part of his attention even if Cas knew it would be dangerous.

Dean let him go and the taller man grabbed his in a tight squeeze. He smiled a bit more carefully, but still with an openness that showed confidence.

“I’m Sam. Nice to meet you.”

 

Cas might have ended up drinking a bit more than he had meant to. Meg found him dancing with a couple of girls and put her arms firmly around him.

“Should I be jealous?”

“Of what?” Cas slurred and sending an apologizing shrug to the girl who got pushed out of the way by Meg.

“The way you are working through the crowd here with almost every available girl.” Meg said and started dancing with him.

“Right. I just have some fun.” He said smiling down at her and she rolled her eyes.

“Well, I’m glad. You deserve some fun time.” She stated.

After dancing for a while Meg told him it was getting late and that she and Benny would take off. Cas nodded and told her he would turn in as well in a little bit. His head had started spinning and he found that he could like the way Garth had curled up just in front of one of the speakers, sound asleep. Cas had watched Sam taking a picture of him and the brothers laughed at him, but they seemed to like the guy in spite of his slight weirdness.

Cas stood by the wall next to where Garth slept when a girl came and pressed her body against his.

“You know… we should find some privacy.” She said into his ear and snaked out a tongue and licked his neck. Cas shivered a little, but pushed her away as friendly as possible.

“What’s wrong?” She asked looking up at him with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry. You are very drunk.” He told her. She pouted and put her arms around his neck and came closer again. Her breasts pressed against him and he took a deep breath to tell her to let him go.

“Hey, Maggie. Let the poor guy go. Go find Randy and have him drive you home.” A voice said and Cas looked up to meet Dean’s eyes. Maggie let go of Cas and hissed at Dean.

“Buzz-kill.” She muttered as she stumbled away.

“Sorry ‘bout her. She’s persistent.” Dean chuckled. Cas nodded and straightened his shirt a little.

“Yeah, I noticed.”

Dean narrowed his eyes a little. “Unless I interrupted something.”

Cas stared at him for a moment, wondering whether he tried to make fun of him or if he actually thought so.

“Well, I could have taken her home to the guestroom at Benny’s house. I bet they would have liked that.” Cas said and basked in the sight as Dean laughed at him with his whole body thrown into it.

“Yeah, Benny would have loved that.” Dean said. “Come on let’s grab a beer and go outside.”

“I… think I should head back.” Cas said.

“Sure. But I have to warn you; I saw Benny and Meg leave just a little while back and if you go there now you will probably walk in on them going at it on the couch or something.”

“Oh, fuck. I forgot how they always do that!” Cas said and ran a hand through his hair. Dean chuckled.

“So you’ve witnessed it as well.”

“God, yeah. Don’t remind me.” Cas said and gave Dean a pained look. Cas had barely noticed but Dean had skillfully lead them through the crowd and outside. Cas slumped down against the wall, his feet a little wobbly and Dean sat down on a bench just beside him.

“So tell me, why did you come up here with them?” Dean asked and sipped his beer. Cas noted with a feeling of embarrassment that Dean didn’t seem drunk at all and here he sat with his head in his hands.

“Meg invited me.”

“I got that part.” Dean said and looked expectantly at Cas.

Nobody spoke for a while. Music and chatter, loud laugh and dancing feet could be heard from the other side of the wall. Above them the sky were black, but lit up by millions of stars. Cas never noticed that in the city, it was too much crap polluting the sky in the city making it impossible for stars to shine through.

“I never saw this many stars.” He said before he could stop himself. Dean just hummed in response.

“Tell me, Benny had told me about a friend of Meg, but I always pictured a girl. I was looking forward to meeting a pretty girl from the city.”

“Sorry, can’t help you with that.” Cas told him with a slight grin. He was sure Dean didn’t have any trouble getting girls. Owning his own ranch he was probably loaded with money, and that paired with his good looks, the girls must be standing in line.

“Yeah, don’t know about that. You might not be a girl, but you sure are pretty.” Dean said softly and Cas turned to look at him, his head resting against the wall. He looked surprised up at Dean, but he just gave him a smile.  
Cas struggled with wrapping his head around the fact that Dean called him pretty. Well, he was drunk so maybe he just made things up in his head.

“I think Meg might have sold me out.” He muttered to his knees.

“What?” Dean asked leaning closer.

“What?” Cas snapped his head up and stared with wide eyes into a pair of green promises. _What the fuck? He did not just say that out loud!_

Cas tried to get up on his feet.

“I think it’s time I called it a night.” He sighed and when he finally got to his feet he leaned heavily against the wall.

“You need some help?”

“I’m good. Just… wow you guys drink heavily!” He said.

He started walking forward on unsteady feet.

“You didn’t tell me why you are even here?”

“Meg invited me.” He said and noticed a bit of annoyance cross the guys face before he grinned. Cas wondered if he maybe had said the same thing twice, but his mind couldn’t manage to keep up so he just lifted an arm to wave at him before making his way back to the house.

 

Cas sat by the kitchen table the next morning with his head in his hands. Meg ruffled his hair as she walked past, way too chipper.

“When did you get in last night?”

“About the time you screamed in the shower.” Cas muttered into his cup of coffee. Meg blushed a little, but laughed at him.

“Fine. So did you have fun?” Meg slumped down on a chair. According to her Benny was already up and working. Cas had no idea how he did that.

“Garth fell asleep next to one of the speakers. How does he do that?” Cas asked and Meg giggled, but she wasn’t interested in where Garth fell asleep. She wanted to know if he had met someone interesting.

“I saw you dancing the whole night and each time there was different girls in your arms, all of them drooling.” She insisted.

“Just a novelty, they will soon see I’m kind of boring.”

“You’re not boring, Cas!”

Cas didn’t answer that and told her instead about Maggie and that Dean had made her go away.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the brothers that looked dangerously sexy?” He complained and saw the smile on Meg’s face.

“Well, sure they are pretty, but to me Benny is the prettiest. Didn’t know I had to warn you.” She said with a sly grin that made Cas think she had done it on purpose.

“You could. Like I said, I don’t want to…”

“Yeah, yeah Cas. Don’t be stupid. Nobody’s going to kill you.” She rolled her eyes.

After breakfast Cas went to the main house with Meg where they sat down with Amelia to plan what they had to do the next few weeks. Cas was going to be a part of some of the baking, but he refused to have anything to do with the decorations.

Cas did that for a few days and he didn’t mind. He liked doing stuff with Meg, especially now that they would be apart after she got married. Amelia was also a great woman; she talked a lot, made the best dinners and was impressed by Cas baking.

That is, until one night Cas overheard a fight between Meg and Benny. He had told them he was headed for bed and took a shower. It was late and he thought they had gone upstairs to their room so he wanted to grab something to eat before he went to sleep.

“What is it then? You afraid what he says might happen? Or is it that you aren’t ready to let him go?” Benny asked. Cas wanted to turn around and let them figure out their stuff. It wasn’t like he’d never heard them argue before.

“No, of course not. But Cas likes being a part of the planning. He can do whatever he wants.” Meg said and Cas froze. They were arguing about him?

“Right. He’s a guy. I bet if I asked him he would love to come outside and do some stuff with me instead. Are you even going to let him go back to the city after the wedding?” Benny asked and Cas was always surprised at how calm Benny seemed when they were arguing.

“Come on, Benny, he can go back home whenever he want. He’s a city boy. He thinks all of you guys up here are dirty and loud.”

“That’s not the point. He should be with some guys now and again and not just doing that girly stuff. It’s not good for anyone.”

“You just don’t want to tell the guys he’s not that into the farm stuff.” Meg shot back.

“No Meg, I don’t mind telling them anything.” Benny said and Cas had to force himself to breath quietly. Benny implied pretty efficiently that he didn’t mind letting his friends know.

“You can tell them anything you want. Everyone who was at the party could see him together with a lot of girls!” Meg insisted.

“You know damn well he does that to not have to admit to anyone, even himself, that he actually prefers guys.” Benny said in a calm voice and Cas felt cold inside. There was a long silence in the kitchen.

“Fine. You talk to him in the morning and maybe you’ll see he’s not the kind of guy that shovels shit all day.” Meg growled angrily.

“I will. You might be surprised. Maybe he likes it, and you shouldn’t be afraid. He is strong, he won’t embarrass himself.”

“I know he is, but he… You know what, just talk to him. He should decide for himself.” Meg said eventually and her voice was a little muffled. Cas thought she probably were hugging Benny.

As Cas walked silently back to his room he wondered if that was how Meg looked at him. Like a city boy who couldn’t do actual work. Was she afraid he would make a fool of himself or did she just want to protect him? It made him annoyed and a lot embarrassed that they talked about him like he was someone they had to look out for.

Cas didn’t fall asleep. The ceiling was lit up a little from a sliver of light coming through the curtains. It hurt a little that Meg thought he needed to be kept inside and that he wasn’t up for the job outside. Cas admitted that he didn’t mind being in the kitchen helping them out, but when he looked outside the guys were working hard. It looked satisfying to sweat under the sun; most of them threw their shirts by noon and had tanned strong backs. Totally not one of the reasons he wanted to be outside with them. Benny was wrong, Cas wasn’t afraid to admit to himself that he preferred guys to girls.

Before drifting into sleep Cas decided he would try and get away from the inevitable conversation the next morning where both Benny and Meg would be on him to prove to the other that one of them was right about Cas.


	3. Working hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas finds out that hard work actually do have it's perks. There's a party where Cas again is the popular dance partner.

Bad sleep didn’t stop Cas from waking early when living on a farm. Outside his window both animals and man started making loud sounds early and Cas gave up on sleeping in no matter how much he wanted it. He dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before heading downstairs. To his surprise Benny was the only one there and they muttered a ‘good morning’ to each other. Benny sat by the table and Cas grabbed a cup of coffee. He never was a breakfast person so he just stood by the counter with his cup, waiting. Benny had been outside long before Cas woke up every morning since they got there. Right now Benny just flipped through the paper and Cas forced himself to relax. If he hadn’t said anything the moment Cas came into the kitchen he figured Benny might let it go for now at least. 

Cas tensed when he heard Meg on the stairs and he started putting his cup in the sink when Benny stood up. 

“Hey, Cas. You mind helping me with the tractor today? It made some serious weird noises yesterday and my brothers have all headed out already.” 

Cas stared back and forth between him and Meg for a moment. He realized that he was cornered. Benny was better at this than he had thought and made it nearly impossible to say no. 

“Fine, if you think there is something I can do.” Cas said and Benny grinned. 

“Of course there is. Just come with me and I’ll show you.” He said, kissed Meg on her cheek as he walked past her, and Cas noticed how hard she tried to look indifferent. 

“Do you need me to help you with something?” Cas asked Meg but she just shook her head. 

“No, we’re good.” She smiled a little stiff, but there was still a smile. 

Benny really did have something for Cas to do. They hadn’t spent a lot of time together without Meg, but Benny talked easily about the city, his hometown and why he loved the ranch. Cas knew the tasks he was given wasn’t difficult or hard, but he still liked it. The sun was hot and he was sweating and hungry like a bear when Benny announced it was time for lunch. 

Benny kept Cas busy for the next few days. Cas was tired when they finally got inside for dinner, but he felt god. His body was sore after heavy work and he was getting a tan. Cas never really had much fond feelings towards animals, but after spending time with the calves, some of the horses and the dog he had to admit he had learned to like them. 

Benny laughed when Cas struggled with holding a wriggling calf or when he practically fell over from lifting hay. 

Meg started muttering about them being so busy all of the time, but Benny just winked at Cas. 

“You wouldn’t survive an entire day inside after you have tasted the freedom in hard work.”

Cas chuckled and looked over at Meg. 

“I do actually enjoy the outside.” He said and Meg grinned. 

“Of course you do. With all of the guys walking around without their shirts on.”

Benny laughed loud at that and Cas just shrugged his shoulders with a smile. 

“Sure, but I didn’t know that hard work could be this satisfying.” Cas admitted and stabbed a potato with his fork and put it in his mouth. 

 

On the first Friday at the ranch Benny announced they had to drive out to help with fixing the fences between two of the ranches. 

“I think we should drive so we can bring new poles and some wire for the fence.”

Cas helped Benny load the truck and was already sweating in the sun. Meg brought out bottles of water before they jumped into the truck to drive towards the mountain.  
As soon as they got closer Cas saw there was already people there working. A few horses stood by eating grass and there was another run down truck in faded red parked nearby with poles like the ones Benny had in his truck. Cas took a silent breath when he noticed who the other people were. He didn’t know all of them, but it was hard not to notice the tall frame of Sam and Dean’s strong back already shining with sweat. With them were Garth and another young guy with black hair as well as one guy from Benny’s ranch who had taken a horse up there.

All of them stopped when Benny parked his truck and got out. 

“Benny, did you bring more wire?” Sam asked. 

“Got it in the back.” Benny answered. They all nodded to Cas when he got out into the sun and Garth grinned. 

“I didn’t think you were here to do the dirty work.” He teased. 

“No? We’ll see who get tired first.” Cas said with a laugh and Dean gave Garth a nudge. 

“Better work hard then, Garth. Can’t have this newbie embarrass you.” Dean said and grinned at Cas in a way that made his heart flutter. That man was too pretty, with sweat in his face and his hair a mess from the heat. 

Cas and Garth both had the job of holding the poles while Benny, Dean and Sam used a sledgehammer to get them down into the dirt. Cas had to tell himself several time not to stare when Dean lifted the sledgehammer and swung it down to hit the pole. His muscles tensed with the impact and soon Cas was sweating far more than just from the sun burning on him. Dean’s body showed that he was used to this kind of work. His arms were not bulging the way they did on guys who spent hours working out, Cas was still willing to bet he would be stronger than any guy who frequented the gym. Dean was lean and was such a man that Cas needed to focus on talking to Garth instead. Thinking about the delicious happy trail leading down into a pair of low hanging jeans was not the greatest idea right here. He might be 'accidentily' hit with a sledgehammer.

When Sam announced they should take a break Cas practically ran to the car to find the water and chugged down. He sat down next to Garth. 

“I have to say, you do work well.” Garth told him and Cas was unsure whether he should be offended by the comment. 

“Why are you so surprised?”

“You’re from the city.” He said as he got up with a small laugh. Cas didn’t think he meant anything by it though, he had noticed through the day how the guys teased each other. Garth seriously got pestered about his height and slim frame. All in a good-hearted way since he easily got back on them. Mostly by teasing them about things in their past that Cas wasn't a part of.

“How is that relevant?” Cas asked but Garth had already walked away. 

“I’m not surprised.” Said a voice behind him and Cas turned to look up at Dean. His t-shirt over his neck and he had a sandwich in one hand and a bottle of water in the other. 

“Really?” Cas was not convinced. 

“Sure. You seem like you enjoy the work.”

“I don’t mind.” Cas told him. 

“Come on, don’t be shy! Everybody likes a bit of work that leaves the body tired. It suites you.” Dean said and smiled down at him so bright that Cas couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Well, it’s definitely different.” Cas admitted. 

“What do you usually do?”

Cas sighed and told him he worked in an office. 

“I think I would have survived the total of an hour in an office.” Dean laughed. “But I bet you’re smart.” 

There it was again. Cas got the distinct feeling Dean flirted with him, nothing much, and kind of awkward, but it was still there. His eyes lingered a bit on him as they spoke and as they walked back to the trucks again there was a small touch to his elbow, so faint Cas wasn’t sure it really happened. 

 

“You want to tag along later when some of the guys head over to a town for a few drinks?” Benny asked when they drove back to the house. 

“I would like that.” Cas smiled and Benny patted his back. 

“Great!”

The bar was crowded and loud, it smelled like cigarettes, whiskey and people, the music was loud and everybody seemed to have a good time. Cas was used to crowded places, but it was still very different. Here everyone knew each other, they talked and danced and stood together by the counter drinking. In addition it wasn't only young people there. Everyone seemed to gather at this place, old men, and women, some people so young Cas saw them with a soda, he wondered how it was even legal.

Like at the party in the barn Cas was soon approached by women who wanted to know more about him. It was much easier this time to slow down on the drinking and just have a good time. Cas wasn’t familiar with this kind of music and a lot of the girls found that entertaining. Everyone moved around on the floor a lot more than Cas was used to and he watched while some of the guys made the girls spin, but he was sure he could not keep up with that. 

“You are giving the boys competition tonight.” A woman said behind Cas. He turned around and smiled at a dark haired woman with a teasing grin. 

“You think so?” He asked with a chuckle. She introduced herself as Pam and Cas shook her hand. 

“So tell me, what’s your secret?”

“Maybe you just don’t get visited enough in this place.” Cas told her and sipped from his beer. Pam laughed at him. 

“You got to take me for a dance.”

“You are not drunk enough yet.” Cas told her. Pam put a hand on his shoulder and leaned closer. Cas saw Dean on the other end of the bar narrowing his eyes at them. Cas had noticed when Dean arrived. Their eyes had met and Dean gave him a small wink, but neither tried to approach the other. Cas had been embarrassingly aware of him the entire time though. 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” She whispered into his ear and dragged him out on the floor. Cas sent a desperate glance towards Meg but she just gave him the thumbs up. 

Pam was probably a little older than he was and Cas was terrible at this dancing. It didn’t matter that he liked it; he still hadn’t been into the country stuff before. Pam, though, was good at it. She even made it look like it was Cas who did the job. When the song ended he lead her off the dance floor, told himself he didn’t notice that Dean was looking in their direction with a frown and smiled at Pam. 

“I might not be the one for you, but don’t tell me I didn’t just do you a favor.” She winked. 

“What?”

“Oh, just wait. Soon the girls will start fighting over who get to take you home.” 

“Right.” Cas laughed and Pam just patted his cheek. 

Cas would be lying if he said he didn’t like the attention. Both because he didn’t have to worry about the too pretty man across the room, and because well, attention was always good for boosting the confidence. 

“Well, thanks for the dance, Pam.” Cas said and she smiled brightly up at him. 

“It was my pleasure.” 

“Pam, you found someone to put your paws on I see.” Dean said and Pam turned around gracefully with a laugh. 

“Oh, Dean. My paws are lying neat in my lap, waiting for you.” She giggled and Dean chuckled but he looked at Cas over her head. Cas wanted to move away. Pam was a flirt, and Dean liked that, Cas could tell. He just didn’t want to interrupt something or be forced to watch. 

“Yea, that’s not gonna happen.” He said and pushed her playfully aside. Cas let his eyes wander while Pam and Dean continued their flirting. Meg and Benny sat by a table talking to someone and they all seemed engaged in the conversation. That was also a bit different from what Cas was used to. Normally when someone went out they drank a lot, danced and tried to get the attention of anybody who might be around. This was quiet and kind of nice he had to admit, at least as quiet as you could get in a bar. People her seemed to come out to meet their friends, not everyone was looking to hook up. 

“Hey, Cas. I hope Pam didn’t bother you. She can come on a bit strong, but she doesn’t mean anything by it.” Dean said and stepped a bit closer since Pam had left. 

“Why do you think you have to look out for me?” Cas asked and Dean shook his head with a smile.

“Maybe because I know these people. Or maybe because I want to make sure you have a good time.”

Cas wanted to ask if the people around here were someone to watch out for or why Dean wanted to be responsible for Cas having a good time. Dean just chuckled. 

“You’re right. Let’s get you another drink and then we can bet on what we think Benny and Meg are talking about.” Dean said as he made a gesture to get two shots. Cas took his glass when Dean slid it over to him. Their hands brushed lightly and he felt Dean’s eyes on him as he downed the drink and tried not to think too hard about his lips and what he wanted them to do. After a couple of shots they were both a bit drunk and Cas were laughing much easier. 

“What is Cas short for? I mean, you couldn’t have been called just Cas.” Dean asked and leaned against the counter. 

“Castiel.” He said and liked the way Dean’s mouth tried not to reveal a smile. 

“I know, it’s different. My mother had a weird phase and since I was born on a Thursday she insisted I was named after the angel of Thursday.” Cas told him and gave a low chuckle. 

Cas felt Dean put a hand on his arm on the counter and watched him lean closer. His heart was beating fast and he noticed a spread of freckles across Dean’s nose. 

“Is that supposed to be a pickup line? ‘I’m practically an angel.’” Dean laughed and Cas couldn’t help but join in. 

“I’m definitely no angel.” Cas said in a husky voice and noticed how close they were when Dean looked up at him with green eyes right there and his full lips slightly parted. God, he wanted to taste those lips.

“Dean!” 

Dean almost jumped back and looked over at the girl talking to him. Cas took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

“I think you have been boring this man with your sloppy, drunk talk long enough, so I’d like to borrow him for a dance if you don’t mind.” She said and turned to Cas for the last part. He looked into a pair of pretty brown eyes and a mischievous grin. Her hair was long and blonde and she held a small hand out for Cas. 

“I could go for a dance.” Cas said and met her grin as it grew wider. She was slender and pretty and she was just like the girls he usually went for. Because where he liked the guys tall and broad, the girls were slim and small. 

“I’m Jo.” She told him and dragged him towards the floor. Cas looked over at Dean who stared after them worrying his lower lip between his teeth. “Don’t worry about Dean; he likes to be annoyed with me even if there’s no reason to. Your name is Cas, right?”

He should have known she was firework. Her feet made the dance go smooth and when the first song ended she refused to let him go. 

“Come on, just this last one. I know you liked it.” She said at the same moment a slow song started playing. She looked up at him through her lashes. Cas gave her a smile and put his arms around her and pulled her close. Jo rested her head against his chest and wrapped her arms around his back and let him lead the slow dance. 

“I heard you are Meg’s closest friend.” Jo said. 

“I am. We practically grew up together. Closest neighbors.” Cas confirmed. 

“That’s nice.” 

Jo pressed herself closer to him. 

“You’ve got a girlfriend waiting for you back in the city, Cas?” She whispered and looked up at him. For a moment Cas stopped and they just stood there on the floor looking at each other. 

“I don’t.” He finally said and Jo smiled at him. 

Nobody spoke after that and Cas held her while they swayed from side to side to the soothing music. He felt the buzz from earlier. Jo looked up at him and Cas let one hand wander up her back and come to rest at her neck. He noticed her swallowing before reaching up and placing her lips against his in a soft kiss. 

Cas took one step away from her, but before he could say anything he was pulled back by strong arms. “It’s time you got away from her.” Dean said in a low threatening voice and Cas realized he had been right. Being on the wrong side of this guy’s attention was not going to be pleasant. 

“Dean, don’t be such an idiot. Let him go.” Jo hissed as she followed them outside. Cas knew that people were watching them, but he just kept staring into Dean’s eyes. Mostly they were angry but he was certain he had seen hurt and insecurity there as well. 

Dean let him go with a push. 

“What’s going on?” Cas asked and straightened his jacket. 

“You think you can just walk in here and charm every girl before picking up Jo?” Dean asked him.

“What?” Cas had no idea how he had gotten himself into this mess and looked over at Jo for help. She rolled her eyes and grabbed Dean’s jacket. 

“Dean. Cas didn’t do anything. We were dancing and talking. No one was going to go anywhere with anyone.” She reassured. 

“Well, that kissing told a different story.” Dean insisted with wild gesturing. 

“I’m not going to deal with this tonight, Dean!” Jo yelled and shook her head before she turned on her heel and stomped back inside. 

Cas looked up at the people standing outside the bar hoping for a fight and turned to walk the other way. He was not going to get in trouble just because Dean turned out to be a jealous jerk. 

“Hey, hey, Cas. Wait!” Dean walked after him, but Cas sped up and hoped he could get away with it. He had just reached some of the cars parked at the side of the road when Dean came up beside him. 

“What, are you going to fight me?” Cas asked. Dean let a hand run over his face and cleared his voice. 

“I’m… I’m sorry about that. I get kind of protective when it comes to Jo.” Dean said and Cas stopped. He leaned up against a truck he hoped was Benny’s. Who knew what some other guy might do if you touched his truck.

“It was Jo who kissed me, you know. I didn’t know she was your girlfriend.” Cas said carefully. Dean smiled. 

“She’s not my girlfriend, she is more like my sister and I still see her as a little girl.”

“Well, she is old enough to make her own decisions. Can’t imagine she get much action if you are always there to block her.” Cas said and Dean let out a sheepish laugh. 

“When you say it like that it feels really stupid.” Dean told him. 

“You definitely acted stupid.” Cas said looking into his eyes still a bit annoyed. Dean held his gaze and Cas felt the air around them shift. It was dark and the bar was far enough away to make the music and voices muffled. 

Their lips suddenly met hard and desperate. Both of them let out groans of surprise and pushed eagerly closer. Dean’s lips were everything Cas thought they would be, soft and firm at the same time and his tongue were urging Cas to open up for him. 

Dean was a whirlwind and for a moment Cas could just hold on and let him take what he wanted. Dean’s hands were in his hair, messing it up and he pressed a firm body against his, locking Cas between the car and a tempting body. When Cas parted his lips, Dean’s tongue was there, searching and tasting Cas, eager and sloppy. 

They parted with a gasp and Dean took a step back, his eyes big in unsure surprise. His hand ran over his face again. 

“Cas I… I don’t know what to say. Fuck, I’m acting stupid today” He swallowed before he turned around to walk away.


	4. Pie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean’s head snapped up to look at Cas in surprise. “You make pie?”
> 
> “Sure.” He said with a shrug. 
> 
> “Man, I love pie!” Dean sighed and looked so perfectly excited that Cas couldn’t help a small laugh.
> 
> Because pie is the best Dean knows and Cas really wants to know more about Dean.

Cas didn’t go back inside. Meg tried to ask questions while they drove back to the ranch, but he didn’t want to talk. He went straight to bed and was lying in his bed staring at the ceiling. 

A part of him wanted to jump around at the fact that Dean had kissed him. Pushed him hard against the truck and kissed him just as forcefully. Cas had never been treated like that, passionately and hard. Everyone he knew or had been together with was too polite for that. To just push him up against something and take what they wanted, Cas never imagined wanting that either, but now that someone had showed him; just the thought made him hard. 

Cas spent the weekend with Meg. Saturday they visited a small town where they looked around, did some shopping and drank coffee. Cas refused to walk into another store after the coffee so Meg said they should just get their groceries and go home. 

Just outside the store they walked right into the person Cas had tried his best not to think about all day. 

“Hi, Dean.” Meg smiled. 

“Hey, Meg. Cas.” Dean nodded. He had two grocery bags in his hands. 

“Um, I… wanted to tell you I’m sorry about last night. It shouldn’t have happened; I was way out of line.” Dean said and looked almost pleading at Cas who swallowed. He didn’t know why, but the fact that he was apologizing for last night did hurt. He had been surprised, but in a very good way, and now Dean stood there saying he regretted it.

“It’s okay. Really, it was my... I mean it was fine.” Cas told him and met his eyes until Dean looked away.

“Well, Jo came by this morning to tell me what she thought about my behavior.” Dean huffed a strained laugh.

“Good for you, Dean. Sometimes you seem to need someone to tell you when you go too far.” Meg teased. “We have to go now. Cas had promised me he would bake a pie so we have to buy some stuff.” 

Dean’s head snapped up to look at Cas in surprise. “You make pie?”

“Sure.” He said with a shrug. 

“Man, I love pie!” Dean sighed and looked so perfectly excited that Cas couldn’t help a small laugh. Dean smiled wide at him and said they would talk later. When he walked past Cas he let one hand rest on his shoulder. Their eyes lingered for a moment but Cas forced himself to focus on the fact that they were in the middle of the street. 

“Cas, what was all that about?” Meg demanded with a smile. 

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“I hope you know I don’t buy that for a second, right?” She said as she lead him into the store. 

Cas managed to get away from the inevitable conversation the rest of the day. Meg tried talking to him, but he wasn’t until Sunday afternoon they spent some time alone together. 

 

Everyone at the ranch seemed to do their usual stuff on Sunday morning, but they didn’t make so much noise which gave Cas a chance to sleep in for the first time since he got there. He woke up to the smell of coffee and the sound of rain.  
Meg sat in the living room folding napkins and Cas sat down with his coffee to watch her. 

“Good morning.”

Cas lifted his cup. “How are you?”

“Fine.” She said. 

“You aren’t getting cold feet yet?” Cas asked and watched her over the brim. She rolled her eyes and grinned. 

“No, of course not. It’s Benny. I love him, simple as that.” She said and Cas wondered when she got so dependent on that man. The Meg he knew liked it best alone, without the commitment. She could just get a date, or bring someone  
home for the night. Benny had really given her a new perspective. Cas was happy she had that. 

Even if it was raining it wasn’t very cold outside. The sun would be breaking through at some point and the place would be dry again. 

Meg sat on the kitchen counter watching Cas knead dough for a pie he had promised to make. Her hair was messy and she was still wearing her pajama pants. 

“Have you talked to your father yet?” Cas looked at her to see her reaction. She took a deep breath. 

“I did.” She whispered and picked up the bowl with apple and cinnamon filling and started stirring. Cas continued with the dough to let her tell him in her own time. Meg’s mother had left when she was ten years old and she had been alone with her father who buried himself in work ever since his wife left. He never took the time to get to know his daughter and since he had enough money he paid someone to look after her instead of doing so himself. Their relationship had been constricted to just a few times a year so Meg wasn’t so sure his father would come to the wedding. 

“He said he wanted to be here, you know, but he was surprised it was happening so far from the city. So I don’t really think he will be coming.” She said. Cas reached over to give her a hug. 

“I’m sorry. My parents will be here for you, though.” He said and Meg smiled. She had been a part of their family for years and they were thrilled that she was getting married. Meg took a spoonful of the filling for the pie to taste it. 

“Come on, Meg! You can’t put the spoon you just used back into the bowl!” Cas told her and Meg lifted the spoon to lick on at again before she put it down in the bowl with a laugh. 

“Now that I’ve told you about my father, tell me what’s going on with you, or you know, Dean.” Meg grinned at his sigh.

“Don’t try and change the subject. I was there yesterday when Dean was acting all kinds of strange.”

“What? He wasn’t strange.” 

“Dean isn’t like that; nervous and fidgeting.”

“I wouldn’t know.” Cas muttered as innocent as possible. He could easily imagine that Dean normally acted a bit more dominant and confident than he did at the grocery store. The fact that he had been like that in front of him felt like both a compliment and a bit confusing. Because, Cas was just Cas, while Dean was this accomplished young stunning man.

Meg narrowed her brows. 

“Fine, Cas. But I know you! And something tells me there is more to this story.” 

Cas took the bowl with filling from Meg before she ate it all and poured it into the pie crust and started making something decorative on top. 

“Cas, I’m waiting here!” Meg said impatiently. 

“Well, I don’t have anything to say.” He tried lying. 

Meg shook her head. “Let me tell you something then. Dean is bi.”

Cas stopped for a second before regaining his focus, but he knew Meg had noticed. He didn’t say anything until he had put the pie into the oven. Then he turned to look at Meg, she smiled. 

“Benny told me how you two flirted when you were fixing the fence.”

“You just don’t give up, do you?”

“I want to know!”

Cas sat down on a chair in the kitchen and looked up at Meg. He didn’t know what to tell her. He had suspected that Dean probably was bisexual from the way he had flirted and eventually kissed him. What he hadn’t been prepared for was how fast he had found an interest in the guy, like he wanted to know more about what he was like. He wanted to know his likes and dislikes and Cas knew where that was headed. If he got too involved he would eventually fall in love and it would be just a question about when his heart got hurt after that. 

“I just don’t think there is anything to talk about. “ 

“At least tell me what was going on when Dean dragged you outside Friday, and then you never got back in. He did and looked absolutely stunned.” 

“I… uh… He didn’t like that I got a bit too close to Jo.”

“What? Jo? What happened?” Meg sat up, eager for some gossip. 

“We just danced and then she kissed me. That’s when he interrupted.”

“Figured. He’s too protective for his own good.” Meg shook her head. “So what did you tell him?”

“I didn’t say anything, Meg and he wasn’t that angry either. He kissed me.” Cas finished and Meg stared at him with her mouth open. She jumped off the counter and put her hands on his shoulders. 

“He kissed you?” Meg asked. 

“Meg, come on. I told you and now I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

“I’m just surprised. Benny had told me Dean was bi, but he had pried it out of him one time when they were drunk. It's not like he is out there flirting with guys as far as Benny can tell.” 

 

When Benny came in for dinner that evening he was talking to someone in the hall. Cas refused to look at Meg’s eyebrows wiggling when they realized it was Dean he was talking to. They both came into the kitchen and Dean leaned against the counter looking at home. 

“Heard there would be pie, so I couldn’t resist.” He said with a grin. Cas smiled at him and Meg just put an extra plate on the table. 

Meg had made dinner and defended herself when Benny and Cas teased her about being able to boil potatoes. She insisted that she wasn’t that bad. 

“I remember you tried to make a chicken wok one night, and you almost set my place on fire!” Cas insisted and the other two men laughed. 

“And you also baked bread at my place, I ate it but we both know it felt like gnawing on a brick.” Benny said and Meg had to laugh along. 

“Well, if I’m that terrible at least I know that Benny is capable of making his own food, so maybe he’ll have to do it.” She said before serving her baked salmon with a simple salad and boiled potatoes. Benny put an arm over her shoulder and kissed the side of her head with a loud smooch.

“Don’t worry, sweet darling.” He said in a soft voice. 

Cas learned that Dean was very passionate about cars. He drove them with pride, knew how to treat it well and probably knew the name of every little part of it. Dean was just as passionate about food, and preferably dessert and pie. The sounds he made when he tasted the apple pie had Cas swallowing and adjusting in his seat. For a moment he thought he did it on purpose, but he seemed to genuinely enjoy the pie. 

After dinner they moved into the living room. It was getting dark outside, which made it comfortable inside with dim lighting and Benny had put on music. He used to do that almost every night when he started to settle down for the night. Benny and Meg used to sit close together on the couch talking about big or small things while Cas often sat beside the bookshelf reading a book. 

Cas had gotten used to the country music and even learned to like it. Most of the songs were about love and loss, and the patriotic feeling of being a cowboy. The tunes had a rhythm and a tone which made them easy to remember and follow. Cas was ready to deny it, but he recognized a few of the songs and had found himself humming along on some occasions. 

For the moment all of them were sitting together in the living room. Dean was interested in what they did in the city on a Sunday. He chuckled when Benny said he used to go to the park and relax or go see a movie. 

“Wow, I don’t remember the last time I took the day off. I can take out a horse and go for a ride, but I would still be looking after our cattle or see if the fences are alright.”

Meg shook her head and the conversation turned around to be about hobbies and other mundane activities. 

Cas took some of the empty beer bottles and the pie with him into the kitchen. He spent some time cleaning off the counter and putting the dirty dishes into the machine. When he turned around and saw Dean standing in the doorway he wasn’t that surprised. Ha had noticed him watching when he got out of the room. 

“That was some real good pie.” Dean said with a smile. 

“Yes, apple and cinnamon is my favorite.” Cas said. “Would you like some more?”

Dean shook his head and laughed as he said he was too full. Cas put it into the fridge. 

“Hey, Cas. I wanted to talk to you about what happened Friday. I want you to know I am sorry.”

“Why?”

Dean stared at him for a moment. “What… um, what do you mean?” 

“No, what do you mean? I quite enjoyed it so I guess I don’t understand why you insist on apologizing.” Cas said directly while looking into his eyes. 

“You did what?” Dean looked a little stunned. 

“Well I assume you don’t usually do that since you are acting like this, but you must have thought that I wouldn’t be strictly against it.”

“I… Uh. I mean maybe, but I couldn’t be sure when you also kissed Jo earlier.” He muttered in a way that made him sound a bit jealous and Cas smiled at him. 

“Yeah, I know, but even if I prefer and usually go for guys I still know how to enjoy a woman now and again.” Cas said in a teasing tone. Dean chuckled a little, like he needed to relieve some tension. 

“I will forgive you if that makes you feel better. We can forget it happened and just put it behind us.” Cas offered. His heart made a tug he recognized, but it wasn’t like he could force himself on the guy. 

“Well, I…” Before he got a chance to continue Benny came into the kitchen. 

“We are going to head for bed. See you tomorrow, Dean.” Benny said and nodded to Cas. There was no teasing in his eyes or voice. It felt normal standing in the kitchen with Dean while Benny and Meg went to bed even if he knew that they both knew there was some tension between them. He was glad Benny was the kind of man who knew when it was appropriate to just take a step back without interfering. 

“Sure, thanks for dinner, man.” Dean said. 

When they were alone again Dean cleared his throat. 

“I should be going too.” He said and started walking to the door. Cas followed him out on the porch. The night was clear and silent. The only sounds coming from the stables where some of the animals called out for others or stomped on the ground.

“Hey Dean, are we good? I mean, you are not going to apologize again?” He asked with a slight smile. 

“Yeah we are. I’m glad you didn’t think I’m an idiot for doing what I did.”

Cas shook his head. “What about we get even? “ He asked and saw the uncertain look on Dean’s face. Cas leaned close and kissed him softly on his lips before pulling back. 

“Good night, Dean.” Cas said with a gravelly voice. Dean nodded with a dazed grin as he walked down the stairs and over to his truck.


	5. Way to go, Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is it possible to turn the night from heaven to hell in such a short time? 
> 
> (there will be smut, explicit smut in this chapter)

The following week everyone was busy. Cas was helping a lot with the preparations for the wedding, mostly he was making food. Meg was stressed, but she handled it fine and since Benny and his mother was so calm it helped Meg a lot.   
Benny came in for dinner one afternoon after a rainy morning and sat down with Cas and Meg. 

“Hey, Cas. Put on some clothes you aren’t afraid of and come with us when we are going out on the trucks later.” Benny said. Cas looked at him. 

“Why do I have to change my clothes?”

“Because you will probably get muddy.” Benny said with a grin. 

Cas had no idea what they were planning on doing but he did what Benny told him to. He had a pair of ripped jeans and a t-shirt. Outside Benny started his truck and Cas noticed as they drove out of there that another truck was following. 

“So what is it you do that gets us muddy?” Cas asked and looked over at the grin on Benny’s face. 

“You’ll see. These trucks are going to get a beating.” Benny smacked the dash and roared with laughter as Cas put on his seatbelt just to be on the safe side.

They didn’t drive on the road for long. Soon Benny took a turn and they started driving on a bumpy road barely with tracks. Cas wanted to ask where they was going but he didn’t want Benny laughing at him anymore so he just kept looking ahead and noticed they got closer to the mountains. 

Behind his seat there was a cooler filled with beer, but Cas was sure they was all shook so much it would be impossible to drink. He was clinging to his seat with his left hand while the right was holding on to the door handle until his knuckles turned white. 

Benny stepped on the gas until they took one last turn and he stopped the truck. In front of them was two other trucks standing on the other side of a big puddle with deep tracks. Cas assumed it was a small pond. Right now it was flooded from the rain and it didn’t look like there was anything they could do but wait for it to dry out to fix it. He was about to ask Benny if they were supposed to try and sort it out when one of the trucks on the other side started moving and headed straight for the passage of the pond that was widest. It headed straight into the brown thick water so the truck was painted with the mud when it came up on the other side.

Cas stared at Benny with wide eyes. A part of him wanted to laugh and ask if this was for real while another part wanted to ask if they were all crazy. They were actually playing with their trucks in the mud!

“You ready?” Benny slowly rolled a bit closer and Cas got a glimpse of the guy in the truck that was covered in mud and his heart took a double take at Dean’s childish grin. 

Benny stepped on the gas, yelled at Cas to hold on and drove straight into the mud. Cas laughed in delight when the mud splattered against the window. Benny drove the truck up on the other side and stood beside a red truck that hadn’t been into the mud yet and Cas gave Sam a wave of his hand. 

For a while they were out in the pond mudding. They spun back and forth; everything was covered in mud, it was impossible to know what color was underneath the brown grime. When Sam backed up his truck and brought out beers the other three trucks stopped and Cas was surprised to see an elderly man jump out of the one that had been following them from the ranch. 

“I’m Bobby.” He said in a gruff voice and nodded once to Cas. 

“Hello. I’m Cas. I haven’t met you before.” 

“I usually don’t hang around the place. I have my garage next to Dean and Sam’s place.” He said and Cas took the beer he was offered. 

Country music streamed out of Benny’s truck and Cas listened to them teasing Benny about his wedding nerves and how he was going to have to stay faithful. 

“Good thing it’s not you that’s getting married then, Dean.” Benny said with a laugh. The comment earned him a scoop of mud in his neck and that was all it took for all of them to throw themselves into a mud fight. All of them except Bobby, who stood up when it all started, and laughed at them from a distance. 

“Such a coward!” Sam yelled at him. 

“Just smart, kid. It’s hard enough to wash the truck on the outside after this.” He chuckled. “Now boys, behave. I’m heading back.” 

“See you later.” Dean and Sam told him and Benny nodded him off. They sat back down again all of them with each their beer and their t-shirt discarded over the bed of the truck. Cas focused hard on his beer or he would be standing there gaping at their toned bodies. At least he wasn’t the only one; Dean did let his eyes wander over Cas’ chest now and again.

The sun was about to set and the sky was just between daylight and night sky. A few stars had started glimmering and the birds had started hushing down. Not that they had heard them over the roar of the engines, but now that it was somewhat quiet there was an occasional chipper, or a howl in the mountain. 

“So who’s going to go feed the calves tonight?” Sam asked. 

“You are, bitch.” Dean answered without looking up from his beer. 

“No way, jerk.” Sam answered and put a muddy hand on top of Dean’s head. Dean turned around in a flash and then they were all back into the fight. Cas was not used to this, so when Benny shoved him further into the mud he fell over just like that. He tried getting up, but every time he came close to the grass he was pulled back in. 

When he finally got up in the grass he was lying there on his back looking up at the sky, steadying his breath. It was starting to get familiar the sight of starts sparkling and Cas loved it. The breeze was still hot but because he was wet from head to toe he would soon grow cold. Because he was lying there looking up it took a moment before he realized the music had stopped and that the slight shaking in the ground was a truck driving away from there. He sat up in a fast motion and looked around. 

Two trucks stood parked nearby and Sam was walking over to one of them. Cas knew before he turned around that the other was Dean’s. He looked over at Dean sitting on a cooler behind Cas. He was resting his elbows on his knees and looked over at Cas. The lighting made it difficult to see all of him, but his hair was sticking out in every direction and his profile was clear. Cas felt his heart jump and pick up a faster rhythm. 

“When did Benny leave?” He asked in a hoarse voice and damned himself for sounding so shaky. Cas was the kind of man who knew what he wanted and went for it. Dean made him feel too much, though. 

“Just now.” Dean said and stood up and walked over to Cas. He reached out a hand and pulled Cas up on his feet. 

“I’ll take you home.” He said quietly, but he didn’t move away. They were standing close enough to feel the heat coming from the other. Cas met his eyes and looked for some kind of sign that Dean wanted to pull away. Dean looked just as calm as always and Cas took a deep breath. 

“God, I want to kiss you.” He admitted in a whisper. 

“Do it.” Dean answered huskily, maybe not as calm as he made it look like. 

Cas leaned in and met his lips. They were just as soft as last time, but this time they were much more compliant. Dean let out a sigh when Cas let his tongue swipe over his bottom lip. He felt a pair of hands in his hair urging him closer into his parted lips.

Dean let out a groan and his hands run down Cas’ bare back and coming to rest on his hips. As he pulled closer the front of their pants came together and both of them was hard. Cas kissed him deeper and pushed Dean the few steps so his back was against the truck. Dean hissed at the cold feeling, but forgot soon when Cas pressed himself close to him. 

Hands felt up and down Cas’ sides and he pulled out a moan when Dean thumbed his stiff nipples. Cas let go of his mouth and trailed kisses down his neck. It tasted sweat and dirt, absolutely perfect. Dean let his head fall back with a long sigh. 

Dean’s eyes snapped up and stared widely at Cas when Cas opened the button on his jeans. He didn’t move, but he seemed unsure all of a sudden. When Cas leaned in to kiss him again Dean was eager and clenched one hand in his hair. Cas continued kissing him while he unzipped his pants and his finger teased just inside the waistband of his boxers. Dean took in a sharp breath before slipping out again almost like a yelp. The hand in Cas’ hair tightened hard when Cas traced the outline of his cock and Dean’s hips jerked forward in an almost uncontrolled motion, his eyes were open in surprise and excitement.

Cas stopped himself then and left a trail of kisses up Dean’s neck and found his lips again. He didn’t move his hand away, but didn’t touch him. Cas had learned over the last days that Dean was a typical guy. He loved cars, food and sex and he wasn’t shy about it. He enjoyed the food with sinful voices and lived for his cars; Cas could only imagine how great he would be at sex. But this, this was neither too confident nor experienced. 

It startled him a bit. He knew it was impossible that Dean hadn’t had sex before, but according to Meg it was still somewhat a secret that Dean was into guys as well. So maybe he just hadn’t been with a guy before. Cas had had his fair share of casual sex, but he had never been very good at the relationship part. He wanted this to be good, and he wanted Dean to want him again after. Cas was stopped in his train of thoughts when Dean forced their lips closer and at the same time made a suggestive roll with his hips. 

Okay, so who was Cas to make choices for him. He should trust the guy to stop him if he went too far, and Cas sure as hell wanted this more than anything. Cas started moving his fingers again, tracing them over the leaking cock and got beautiful sighs and moans in return. Dean was so god damn responsive. Nothing like the towering angry guy in the parking lot trying to protect Jo, or the guy who could work a dozen poles into the ground in a short amount of time. 

When Cas pulled Dean’s jeans and boxer down enough to reveal his hard cock Dean let out another surprised huff of breath. Cas stroked him a few times and couldn’t resist the urge to look. He wanted it, maybe too much, it was long, but it was so thick he wanted to compliment it. Cas looked up to meet his eyes and noticed Dean swallowed as he met his eyes. Dean tried to look a little bit less affected by this than he probably was and Cas let him, you don’t take someone’s straw of comfort away when they are trusting you. 

Cas had stopped stroking him and let the free hand run over his body, he kept eye contact as he sank down to his knees and saw Dean’s lips open and his eyes almost went glossy from want. 

“I want to make you feel good.” Cas said and looked up at him through his lashes and Dean was already panting. One hand was still in his hair; Cas wondered if he was even sure of how hard he was gripping, while the other tightened over the metal of the bed on his truck. 

Cas licked a stripe up the underside of his cock a few times, he nipped at the skin over his hip bones and slowly pulled his jeans and boxers a little further until they fell down and pooled around his ankles. Cas’ long fingers held steady around his hips when he finally took the tip of his cock between his lips. 

“Fuck, Cas.” Dean let out and he knees almost buckled when Cas swirled his tongue around over it, tracing the head and into the slit. 

Cas sank down slowly, taking him in as far as he could. Dean was thick and that made Cas’ lips stretch. It felt so good and he started pulling off just to sink back down. Dean let out a whimper that had Cas palming his own dick and he finally opened the button of his jeans to let it spring free. 

He started bobbing his head in a steady rhythm, letting one hand wrap around the base and stroked him in time with the sucking, making Dean moan and sigh with pleasure. The hand in his hair had let go a little and Cas looked up. The sight almost made him come without touching himself. Dean had let his head fall back and was panting heavily with his lips parted. His upper body was covered in dirt and stripes of sweat had made their way down his chest and stomach. Dean looked like a poster for sin. 

Cas slicked up a finger in the spit around his cock, gently caressing his balls before going further back. Dean made a surprised jump and his head snapped forward to stare at Cas when he felt a finger push teasingly at his hole. He rubbed lightly around it, never pushing in, looking at Dean for any indication, one way or the other.

“You want me to stop?” Cas pulled off and asked, his voice a little husky. Dean swallowed again. 

“No… I um… are you going to fuck me?” He asked, voice so wary Cas wondered what he was thinking.

“No.” He said. Dean didn’t say anything and Cas eventually let his lips wrap around him again. Dean kept his head bent so he could watch and Cas looked back up at him. 

“Cas… Do it.” He was practically pleading and Cas couldn’t help but smile. His eyes wrinkled a little and he got a groan in return. He watched Dean intently when he started teasing his entrance again, and then gave his finger an experimental push. 

“Ah, fuck!” Dean said loud into the night and Cas was back to rubbing and teasing before giving a push again.

“Oh, fuck, that’s good!” Dean said trying to push himself down on Cas’ finger. His finger slipped just inside the tight ring of muscles and Cas felt how his body tried to close and push his finger away. Cas continued bobbing his head up and down his length and worked his finger carefully out and then gave another push and felt how it gave in a little more each time. Dean looked like he was gone, he held on to the truck, his eyes were shut and he was breathing fast and hard. Cas knew he was about to come. 

“Cas… ah. Ngh, fuck. I’m gonna come… oh. You gotta pull off, man.” He panted and opened his eyes. Cas never let him go, he sucked him harder and gave the finger in his ass another push and Dean almost fell over when he gasped and came deep inside Cas’ mouth. He swallowed and worked him through the aftermath before he rested his forehead against his thigh. 

They stood like that for a while. Cas was still so hard it hurt and Dean worked to control his knees that had started to shake. 

“Damn!” He breathed with a short laugh. 

When Cas stood up Dean looked down at his hard cock then up at his eyes. It was a question there, but Cas wasn’t sure what it was. Dean kissed him and wrapped a hand around his hard length before starting to stroke him in a steady rhythm. Cas was clinging to his shoulders and it didn’t take long for him to tip over the edge as well. 

 

On the way back to the ranch the radio was playing soft tunes of a country song, the sky was clear as ever and the car was rumbling loud. Cas looked over at Dean. His hair was a mess and his clothes were all gray or brown from the mud. 

“You’re not afraid this will ruin the seats?” Cas asked and pointed at his dirty clothing. 

Dean huffed a laugh, his eyes almost sparkling. “I’m used to it. It comes off, and this isn’t even that much of a car anyway.”

“What? I thought you had a love life with all of your cars.” Cas teased and laughed at Dean’s eye roll and wide grin.

“Hey, Cas I want to ask you something.” 

“Shoot.” He said and turned to look at him. Dean was fidgeting all of a sudden but took a deep breath. 

“When I asked if you were going to… um… fuck me, why didn’t you?”

Cas took a moment staring at him. He had definitely not expected that question and there was actually a blush creeping into his face. Cas cleared his throat. 

“Well, I… we were kind of in the middle of something.” He tried, Dean nodded. 

“So it wasn’t that you didn’t want to?”

“What, no of course not. I wanted to… I just needed to know that you were ready.” Cas said carefully.

“So what you are saying is that you didn’t think I wanted it?” Dean asked. Cas looked out the window as they finally got out of the bumpy road and back on the black asphalt. 

“No, I just wasn’t sure if you were ready to go all the way.” Cas told him. He was aware that this could potentially be a bad very fast. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, Dean. I… can we just let it go, we had a good time and let’s just see what happens.” Cas said. 

“I want to know why you think I wasn’t up for it.” Dean looked at him. 

“I don’t know how to say this, Dean. It felt like you wanted to, but you were so jumpy I figured it would be enough what we did.” Cas said in a low voice watching Dean’s face turn red and his eyes angry. 

“So I’m not experienced enough for you, huh?” Dean’s eyes shot fire and Cas wasn’t sure whether he was going to get punched or pushed out of the truck right there. 

“What, no! That doesn’t matter to me, Dean.” Cas said firmly but Dan was shaking his head and most certainly not listening. 

“I wanted to make it better than in a truck or in the mud.”

“Fuck you! I’m not some kind of a virgin princess.” Dean spat at him. “Just admit it; you realized I wasn’t advanced like some slutty city-boy.” Dean continued and Cas took in a deep breath. 

“Nothing of that matters, I’m not that kind of guy.” Cas muttered and tried to hold on when Dean stepped on the breaks in front of Benny and Meg’s house. He worked hard to stay calm, but Dean was really pushing it with his insults.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that when you go back to the big city and find someone better to fuck.” Dean said and Cas couldn’t understand why he was so angry. Sure, it might have been a bit insensitive saying he was jumpy, but most people would have been able to shake it off with a laugh or an annoyed comment.

“Dean… I don’t want to end the day like this. I had a really great time.” He said. 

“Just get the fuck out of my truck, Cas.” Dean stared straight ahead and refused to look at him. Cas opened the door. 

“I know you don’t want to hear it, but for what it’s worth, I never intended on making you feel bad. I like you and only wanted to make it good… you know for both of us.” 

Dean didn’t show any sign that he heard him and Cas jumped down on the gravel and closed the door behind him. Dean sped out of there at once and Cas stood in the same spot looking until the taillights faded. He had managed to turn this night from heavenly bliss to pitch dark hurt in his chest. Way to go, Castiel. He thought as he stood in the shower, watching the dirt from his skin go down the drain.


	6. Meet the parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding is getting closer and Cas' parents is arriving. Cas discovers a secret that could change everything.

Cas threw himself into the preparations for the wedding. It was time they started to hang the decorations in the barn and Cas was more than happy to stand in a ladder while fastening strings with the lighting. He worked hard not to think about Dean. It was bad enough that he had said stuff that made Dean feel bad, but even worse was the way Dean had looked at him. Like he was disappointed and so utterly hurt. 

Meg was stressed out and Cas had no intentions of telling her what had happened. Benny on the other hand started looking at him like he had a question at the tip of his tongue, but decided against it every time he was about to ask. 

Cas had hoped he wouldn’t have to see Dean until the wedding, that way they could just part their ways and forget they ever met. Cas knew that would be impossible since the man already took up most of the space in his head. In Cas’ mind Dean was as good as perfect, but a part of him had started thinking that maybe it could the problem; the way Dean thought about himself. Sure he was a confident, loud guy who flirted and smiled a lot, but when someone tried telling him he did a good job he just laughed it off. And most of all, the way he had talked about Cas being a city boy and himself being too inexperienced. Dean didn’t think he was worth as much as all the people around him thought he was.   
In spite of Cas’ hopes of not having to see him until the wedding, he knew better. Dean was a part of making the barn look good, he had agreed to help Benny with stacking hay bales outside and hanging up a banner and this kind of thing that required a tractor and power. 

Cas came outside with Meg who insisted on his guidance, but he realized her true intentions as soon as he came outside and saw Dean standing there. The other man turned around to the sound of Meg talking, but the moment he saw Cas his jaw tensed and his eyes went cold. Cas could feel the way Meg’s eyes flipped from one to the other. 

He knew that Meg wanted answers, but after helping them getting up the banner Cas went back inside to hang the rest of the lighting. The same thing happened through the week. The whole ranch was working hard for the wedding and everyone was busy. Dean and Cas made an effort not to see each other, but when it happened Cas was resigned and Dean was cold. 

Cas helped Meg as much as he could but eventually he had to breathe. So much happened at the same time and he wanted just a moment to himself so he could place this thing with Dean.

“Hey, man. I’m not into this flower-stuff and Meg is all about perfection, so if you need anything, let me know.” Cas said and Benny chuckled. 

“I told her she should let you off the hook with the too feminine stuff.”

“I know, just because I’m gay doesn’t mean I love arranging flowers.” Cas muttered mostly to himself but Benny patted his back. 

“You know what; Bobby called to tell me he fixed a part I’ve been waiting on for the tractor. Why don’t you head over there and get it.” He said dangling the keys to his truck. 

“Um… I don’t know where that is.” He said uncertain. Benny explained and Cas realized he should have known. There was just one main road and everything and everyone was living or placed along that road. It wasn’t hard to find. It took about fifteen minutes to drive there but at the driveway Cas had to stop for a moment just to take in the sight of the ranch placed at the end of the road. 

The place was built on a height with the main house so proud and still like a part of the environment. It was built of logs, had large windows overlooking the vast farmland with the mountains in the back. Some horses were standing in front of the house and there were barns and stables surrounding the property in a delicate and subtle way. The entire place spoke of pride and genuine love for everything around them. Dean and Sam really had a pretty ranch.

Cas drove slowly up to a garage, although a junkyard would probably fit better. He sat still in the car after parking because of an enormous black dog standing at the end of a thick chain just stared at him. He thought about backing up and go back when Bobby came around the corner and Cas got out of the truck before it seemed weird. 

“Hi, Cas. You weren’t afraid of Rumsfeld, were you?” He asked with a roaring laugh and Cas cleared his throat uncomfortably.

“What brings you over here, kid? Too much going on with the wedding?” He asked and started walking towards the garage with a wave for Cas to follow. 

“You could say that. Benny said you had something for him, so I said I could get it.” Cas told the man and Bobby lifted his caps to scratch his forehead before putting it back on, covering a stripe of grease. 

“Let’s see. Yeah, I think I got it here somewhere.” He started rummaging through some boxes, then on his bench and Cas had no idea how it was even possible to work in here with this kind of mess. Bobby seemed to know where everything was though and hummed content when he found the part. He kept looking until he found a paper bag where he slipped the part and handed it over to Cas with only his thumb and forefinger holding it.

“So you don’t have to get all dirty.” He said with a side grin. Cas nodded and was about to back away when Bobby spoke. 

“Since you are here, I could use some help and maybe I got to finish this junk before nightfall.” He said looking expectantly at Cas. 

Cas didn’t know the first thing about cars and when he said as much to Bobby the man just nodded and said it wasn’t a problem. 

“I’ve been teaching the kids their way about cars since they were wee boys.” He said and told Cas to take off that ‘ridiculous jacket and get over there’ and Cas didn’t dare anything else than obey the man. 

It wasn’t hard. Cas had spent time helping Benny with mechanical stuff, and even if he couldn’t name the tools or the parts he still made himself helpful. Bobby started telling him about how he had taught Dean and Sam how to fix cars from they were children. 

“Much easier having them help you than being afraid they would run around breaking stuff.” He said with his voice gruff. 

“It’s been a while now though. They’re so busy all the time, you see.” 

Cas hadn’t gotten a word in for a while, the man talked and talked. It was easy to understand he was proud of Sam and Dean; he talked about them like they were his own sons. Cas realized with a bit of surprise that he didn’t know anything about Dean’s family except for his brother Sam. 

“Looks like we are finishing up here.” Bobby said and pulled out a beer he forced Cas to drink. 

“As a thank you. Sam never really liked being in the garage, he’s more of an animal lover that one, so I kept sodas and eventually beer in here to get him to help. Dean, you know, would always help out without a word; he loves this kind of thing.” Bobby said and huffed a laugh probably at some memory. 

“Yeah. He still comes by, and his son is just the same.” Bobby shook his head with a fond smile and Cas tried really hard not to show how surprised he was at the last comment. 

When he drove back a little while later all he could think about was that Dean had a son. Cas had never seen him with anyone, not a woman, not a little boy, and nobody had said anything. After what they did together Cas thought maybe Dean wasn’t living with the mother of his child. It was still a lot to take in. Dean was about his age, maybe a couple of years younger, making him around twenty-seven. If he had a kid that already ran in the garage with Bobby he would have been a father at a pretty young age. So much for getting a chance to breathe. 

Cas wanted to ask someone, but he couldn’t make himself force the attention to his issues when Meg only deserved all of his. It was her wedding, and he was not about to steal any of that away from her. Instead he worked hard, helped Benny’s mother get a couple of guestrooms ready in her home and took a deep breath as he drove to the airport to pick up his parents and two of Meg’s friends. 

Cas decided to put Dean and his son in the back of his mind and focus on Meg, the wedding and his parents. He had actually missed his parents quite a bit and on the drive back to the ranch they agreed to go out for dinner the next day.   
Amelia had already prepared dinner for the entire family; she was thrilled to meet Cas’ parents, since they probably were the closest to Meg’s family who would come down there. Meg hugged them tight and Cas’ mother Hester stroked away her tears. 

“Sweetheart, don’t do that. We love you very much; now show us your new place.” Hester insisted and grabbed her hand. Meg showed them around her new house before leading them and her two friends back to the main house. 

Cas felt great the entire night and into the next day. His parents were there, Chuck, his father was curious about everything going on around the ranch and followed Benny all over the place, asking questions and demanding to know how they was able to have control over so much land. 

Benny smiled goodheartedly, showed him anything he wanted to know. They talked about Meg and their graduation and Cas heard them talking about the wedding when he walked to the barn where his mother was with Meg and Amelia. Benny was familiar with his family, so Cas wasn’t worried they wouldn’t get along. They had adopted Benny as soon as they noticed how good he was for Meg. 

“Honey, I don’t think I’ve seen you this tanned since you were a kid. What have you been up to?” Hester looked at him when he stepped into the barn. 

“It’s the middle of the summer and everyone is outside. Of course I would get a tan eventually.” Cas told her and Hester laughed at him. 

“It really suites you. Makes you look younger and healthier.” She told him and Cas rolled his eyes.

“Thanks for letting me know I usually look pale and old.” He growled and Meg laughed at him along with Hester. 

 

Cas was outside just before he and his parents was heading out for dinner. Hester was inside and Chuck was somewhere with Benny. When Hester came down the stairs she was dressed in a yellow dress, she looked so happy in the sunlight and Cas smiled. 

“You look great, mum.” He told her and she kissed his cheek. 

“Thank you. It feels like we’re on a vacation. Your father is already talking about renting a car and drive around up here for a bit after the wedding.” Hester said and smiled when she saw Benny and Chuck coming out of one of the stables. 

They were about to walk over to the truck when the sound of a horse coming just around the corner of the barn made them stop. Cas swallowed. He could recognize that jaw even if it was partly hidden under a cowboy hat. He was unnaturally good looking in a white t-shirt with an open plaid shirt hanging over his shoulders. He pulled the horse to a halt and Hester gasped and grabbed Cas’ hand. 

“Look at that cute calf!” She said in awe looking at a young calf lying across the saddle in front of Dean. Cas felt Dean gaze on him and lifted his eyes to meet his. It was the first time they really looked at each other since they had that fight. There was so much unsaid between them and Dean’s eyes were distracting in all its greenness, he didn’t look angry anymore at least, which was both good and a bit surprising. His face was a little flushed and a drop of sweat rolled down his neck. Cas looked down at the calf. 

“Did you have trouble catching the sucker?” Benny laughed and stroked the calf over the head. 

“It’s up here, isn’t it?” Dean said with a grin and Cas’ stomach turned into knots. He had to tell himself it was unnatural to obsess this much over someone after just two and a half week.

Chuck asked him how he did that and they ended up listening to the story about a calf getting away from its mother, which made Hester make a sound of compassion. 

“Imagine that. The poor little thing walking alone in the mountains. Are you taking it back up there?” She looked up at Dean who finally turned his glance directly at her and told her it was impossible to find its mother so he would have to take it back to his ranch. 

“Well, son, I think we should get going. I’m starting to get hungry and I promised your mother I would look around town with her.” Chuck interrupted and put one arm over Hester’s shoulder. 

“You’re Cas’ parents?” Dean asked, looking from Cas to Chuck and Hester. 

“Yes, we are.” Hester smiled brightly up at him. 

“I would come down to introduce myself properly if I hadn’t just spent about thirty minutes trying to get a hold of this one.” He said and stroked the calf with a fond smile. Hester shook her head. 

“Not to worry, we get that you are busy, besides, we will most certainly meet again. My name is Hester, this is my husband Chuck.” Hester smiled up at him and repeated his name when Dean told them who he was. 

“Enjoy your dinner.” Dean said softly.

Cas was staring. Dean suddenly showed this side, a polite and undeniably sweet side of himself after being cold and repellent the last few days. It was too confusing and Cas huffed. 

“I’m driving now if you want to join me.” He said and turned his back pointedly at Dean taking long strides towards the truck. 

“Honey, you didn’t have to act so rude. That man was nothing but nice to us.” Hester reprimanded after they got into the car and Cas rolled his eyes where his mother couldn’t see. 

 

His parents were impressed by the intimate and homely feeling of the town and gushed about it for a long while. That gave Cas the opportunity to decide he should put his confusing thoughts on hold. He could try and figure it out later when he was alone. When did his life get so confusing anyway?

During the dinner his parents filled Cas in on what happened at home. They talked about their jobs and that they missed Cas. He complained that they still treated him like he was a teenager living at home. 

“But you are our baby; of course we will treat you as one!” Hester laughed. 

Cas was an only child and had everything in his parents. They had enough money so Cas always had everything he wanted. They didn’t spoil him in buying too much, but they gave him love, took him places and they had always been really close. That’s why Cas shouldn’t have been surprised when both his parents looked at him a bit concerned. 

“Cas, what’s the matter?” Chuck raised his brow a little and crossed one leg over the other. 

“Huh?” Cas watched his parents share a look and he knew they were on to him. They always managed to look past his carefully built walls. 

“Castiel, we know when something is bothering you. Is it that you and Meg will be so far apart now that she is moving here?” Hester gave his arm and encouraging squeeze.

Cas smiled. “I will miss her, but she is so happy with Benny. Just like she should be.” 

“So what is it then? You look very healthy you know, from being out in the sun, doing actual work.” Chuck teased and Cas chuckled. 

“Exactly, why do you even think there is something to talk about?” Cas felt a little annoyed. 

“We won’t bother you with it, Cas. You are old enough to take care of yourself. We just want to make sure you can talk to us if you need it.” Hester said. 

“I know, I know. But like I said, I’m just fine. Stop worrying!” Cas insisted and pretended he didn’t notice how his parents looked at each other above his head.


	7. Wedding days and Wedding nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's wedding days, then there's wedding nights

Cas was in deep sleep when Meg came to shake him awake. When he finally opened his eyes she shoved a coffee cup into his hands and flopped under his covers with a pleased sigh. 

“You know what, I’m getting married today.” She said and leaned her head back against the wall and smiled so bright. 

“And yet you are here giving me coffee in bed.” He raised his brow but took a sip from the cup. 

“You know I can’t just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. I needed to get up, and I needed you, so therefore I’m bringing you coffee.” She grinned. 

For once it was silent outside and Cas turned over his phone to check the time. It was just past seven in the morning.

“Meg, did you have trouble sleeping?” He asked in a soft voice and she nodded and pulled the covers further up. Cas sipped his coffee and put an arm over her shoulders. 

“It’s just so much! My day is finally here and I know it will be great, but everything happens so fast! By tonight I’m a married woman!” She practically squeaked.

“You will do great.” Cas smiled. 

“I remember when we used to talk about our future. I was dead set on marrying a rich lawyer or something.” She laughed. “Oh, would I have been miserable. Benny is just the perfect man.” 

“I’m really happy you didn’t go for a lawyer. Do you think you will be happy here?”

“It probably sounds like a cliché, but if I get to be with Benny I know I will be happy. Besides, this place is great, maybe not the way a city is great, but this place has so much personality I can’t wait to be a part of it all.” 

“God, what happened to the Meg I once knew?” Cas teased and she insisted that she finally grew up. 

“You should too, find yourself a decent man, get married adopt a couple of kids, you know, the whole shebang.” 

“Right. I think I’ll be good with the kids you are going to have. I’ll babysit them or spoil them or whatever.” Cas kissed the top of her head when she giggled at him. 

 

Amelia had made breakfast for the closest family and friends. She had made a buffet and Hester had asked if she was crazy. 

“I mean, you have breakfast, then there is the dinner at the wedding and tomorrow you are going to have another dinner before they go on their honeymoon. How are you even standing?”

“Well it is Benny, he’s my oldest son and I want it to be perfect. I love cooking and Cas have been very helpful.” She smiled at him. 

Cas followed Dean with his eyes. He wondered what was going on with him. He didn’t look like he was angry anymore, and even if he stayed with Benny most of the time he also made an effort to talk to Amelia and Cas’ parents. Cas had realized Dean was good with people, he knew how to talk to everyone, and that was probably the reason he seemed to have respect from pretty much everyone in town. 

“Hey man, you got some time to talk?” Dean tapped him on the shoulder and Cas turned around to look at him. 

“Right now?” He looked around at the others in the room. It wasn’t long until they had to head back to the house and get ready. 

“Yeah, um… I just need to get it off my chest.”

Cas didn’t say anything and noticed Dean swallowed. “I know I overreacted the other day, I just…”

“I don’t think we should talk about it right now.” Cas stopped him. It would be too much, talking about it would mean Cas had to think about everything that happened that night and what Dean thought of him, he didn’t need that right now. 

“Cas… I’m…”

“Dean, you made it perfectly clear what you think about me, and I don’t want to think about it anymore. Let’s just get through this day, don’t focus on our problems because this is Meg and Benny’s day. Maybe we can talk later, when this is over.” Cas whispered and told himself that he didn’t see the disappointed and hurt look on Dean’s face. 

“I didn’t mean any of those things.” He said in a low voice. 

Cas could understand that, what he didn’t understand was why he had said it in the first place. The man had been so angry with him a lot more than he thought was necessary. He was about to answer when Meg came and hooked her arm through Cas’. 

“Are you ready?” Meg smiled up at Cas. 

He nodded and sent a glance towards Dean who met his eyes and bit his bottom lip slightly. Cas wanted to say something, to clear it all up when he had a chance, afraid he might lose it, but he couldn’t. Not with Meg there, and not on her big day. He needed to focus on her. 

 

Inside the barn everyone was ready just after lunch. The lighting was dim and there was soft music playing in the background. Meg and Benny stood in front of each other, giving their vows. Cas stood behind Meg and Dean behind Benny and when the married couple kissed Cas looked up and met a pair of green eyes. They were soft, but not quite smiling. When Dean winked at him Cas looked down with a smile on his lips. The guy was so damn charming!

After the ceremony Meg and Benny went outside for pictures while some others put up tables along one wall. Cas helped Amelia bring food to the tables and it wasn’t long before everything was ready for the dinner. They sat around small tables through the dinner and Cas looked over at the happy smile on Meg’s face. Next to Cas, Dean sat and each of them had a girl on their side. That didn’t stop Dean from flirting with Cas whenever the others around the table was busy with themselves or engaged in other conversations. Those sideways glances, light touches and their thighs pressed against each other. By the time the dinner was over Cas was feeling a bit worked up by it all. 

Cas took Meg in his arms after she and Benny had their first dance and she came over to him. He hugged her close and thought about everything they had shared. Ever since he was introduced to the three year old girl in the house next to his, he had looked after her. They were the same age, but she had more to struggle with than Cas. At least he had a family that stood up for him and loved him no matter what. Meg didn’t have that; neither of them had even showed up at her wedding. He knew she felt bad about it, but she had a new family here, a big family. 

Cas sat by one of the tables talking to Garth. The music was turned up and people were dancing and someone had already gotten enough to drink. Normally the best man and the maid of honor shared a dance when others started joining the floor. Meg had teased them about it, but she told them to find a nice girl for the dance. Dean had been close where he danced with Jo and Cas with one of Meg’s friends from the city. One time when Cas passed Dean they didn’t let their eyes break contact and Dean reached out a hand to brush over Cas’ back. Cas shivered and didn’t know if he wanted to jump away or lean into the touch. Dean’s smile was making it hard to focus on his real dance partner. 

“So when are you heading back to the big city?” Garth asked. He was dressed in a suit but was still wearing his sneakers. 

“In a few days. My parents are going to look around, visit some of the known places close by, figured I’d head back with them.” Cas said and lifted his glass of wine. 

“Well, you better come visit.”

“Of course. Meg is going to stay here, so I’ll probably be here before you know it.” Cas chuckled. He knew he would have to adjust to being at home without Meg. Even if he had other friends he would still miss what he had had with her for most of his life. 

“I better go find myself a woman and have a dance.” Garth said and stood up. 

Cas found his mum and grabbed her hand. She smiled at him and put her arms on his shoulders. 

“Meg is so beautiful, isn’t she?” Hester looked so proud. 

“Yes, absolutely.” Cas assured and lead her around the room. His mother was suddenly interested in anything going on around that small town. She seemed to love the place, she and Amelia had a lot to talk about and Cas could see that she enjoyed the clear air and hot days. 

 

Cas danced with Jo when he noticed his mum was dancing with Dean. She was laughing at something he said and he grinned down at her. Cas was surprised at the tug of jealousy he felt in his stomach. He knew he had no reason to, but the thought of Dean having fun with his mother and that his mother was dancing with Dean; Cas wasn’t sure who he was most jealous of. 

It was dark outside, the music was loud and people were celebrating loud and happily. Dean came over to Cas and Jo, and for a while they stood together talking like they were old friends. What happened last time the three of them were this close seemed to be long gone, and Cas thought that Dean was right, they really behaved like siblings. Light bickering and much love. Eventually Jo headed off and Cas was standing alone with Dean. 

“I saw you danced with my mother.” Cas said. 

“Yeah, she’s really nice. Asked me about Benny and treating Meg like her own daughter.”

“She practically is.” Cas smiled and for a moment their eyes lingered and Dean smiled back. 

“You want to go outside?” Dean asked and Cas looked at him. “To talk.” He added when Cas didn’t say anything. Cas looked over at the open door and there was people everywhere. They wouldn’t be able to have a private conversation anywhere, and he didn’t know how smart that was since both of them had been drinking. There was enough that needed to be said and too much wine combined with repressed feelings was never good.

Cas still walked outside with Dean. They had been doing a dance almost the entire day and the tension between them was thick.

Dean didn’t stop walking until they reached one of the many paddocks around the barn. He climbed up on the fence and looked down at Cas. 

“Hey, man… um. You think we could… I don’t know… forget about what happened the other night?” Dean asked. Cas looked into his eyes. He looked a little nervous, but was hiding it well behind a smile. 

“What is it exactly you want to forget about?” Cas asked and couldn’t help that a smile tugged at one side of his mouth when Dean huffed a laugh and looked down into the grass.

“You know the um… the part with the fight. The rest was good.” Dean told him. 

Cas smiled and stepped closer. He couldn’t help it. Dean was looking so handsome in his suit. With broad shoulders, a few open buttons and his narrow hips. It was enough to make Cas’ mouth water. Before he could think it through he had put his arms on Dean’s shoulders and crowded his space to kiss him. Dean leaned into the touch and kissed him back like he was starving. Both were gasping for air when they pulled back. 

“You want to get out of here with me?” Dean whispered into Cas hair and he nodded. Dean jumped off the fence and started walking in long strides towards his truck. 

They had had some manner of privacy at the paddock, but around the cars there were a lot of people. Cas jumped into the truck and Dean drove away quickly. Cas wasn’t sure if it was because he wanted to hide from the people in the parking lot, or that he wanted to get away with Cas.

The car stereo was playing classic rock; Dean held one hand on the steering wheel, tapping the rhythm and the other rested on the window which was pulled down. A warm breeze blew over them even if it was dark outside. Cas looked at Dean and wanted to say something. Before he got to it they took off from the road and started driving up towards the ranch. 

“This place is really fantastic.” Cas said. They had lighting around the main house that lit up and made it look so homely and real. Cas thought that it looked like love, love for the land around them, love for their home and each other. 

“Thank you. Our parents worked hard for it.” Dean told him as he maneuvered the car into place in front of the house. Dean opened the door and jumped outside and Cas was sure he did it on purpose, so Cas wouldn’t ask questions about his parents. 

Inside the house was modern and tidy. Everything looked like it fit in there, even their big tv. Their couch had a curled up blanket and a coffee cup on the table next to the couch was the only sign that the place was used. The kitchen was open just around the corner from the living room, which also was tidy and shining. In front of the kitchen counter was four bar stools one with a jacket hanging over it. The entire place was warm and even more homely than the outside. 

Dean took off his jacket and grabbed Cas’ as well and hung them over a chair. When he let his hands slide down his arms, Cas’ focus snapped back on the handsome man in front of him. Dean leaned down to kiss him. It started out soft and tentative, but the moment Cas heard Dean’s breath hitch he couldn’t help it and pressed himself closer and deepened the kiss. 

All of a sudden they were desperate. For once they were alone, it was no one there to catch them and they wanted each other. Dean’s hands were in Cas’ hair again, messing it up, tugging at it to angle his head for better access to his mouth. Cas let his hands wander over his body, ripped the shirt out of his pants to feel his warm skin under his fingers. 

Both were breathing hard and Dean started leading them towards the stairs. Cas stumbled over a chair and they had to break apart. Dean didn’t let him go though and grabbed his arm and almost pulled him up the stairs. Cas didn’t have time to look around, but the space was big, almost like the living room. Dean dragged him into a room which turned out to be his bedroom. 

Cas was barely inside before Dean had started unbuttoning his shirt. Their clothes fell to the floor until they were only wearing boxers. Cas noticed the slight hesitation before Dean pushed him towards the bed. He wanted to sit up, make sure this was okay, but Dean was all over him, kissing and touching and it was impossible to form a single thought. The kisses were eager and passionate Cas pushed his tongue inside Dean’s mouth, twirling their tongues around, tasting beer and vanilla. 

The kisses were eager and wet between heavy breathing. Cas let his hands run over his body, strong muscles beneath warm and tight skin. He wanted to lick him all over. When his hand came down to the small of his back and further down to his firm ass Dean tensed up for a moment. Cas tried to pull back so he could manage to think. Dean was already a beautiful mess, with wild hair, clear green eyes and rosy cheeks. 

“Dean, is this alright?” He whispered and moaned as Dean kissed his neck.

“What? Yeah, of course it is. I brought you here, didn’t I?” Dean pulled back slowly and looked down at him. Dean was straddling his hips and made small movement with his hips so they grinded together.

“I know.” Cas nodded and let a finger trace over Dean’s arm. Dean bent down to kiss him again and Cas couldn’t think straight. After a moment Dean sat up and looked down at him. 

“You know what, you were right. I’m not very good at this.” He confessed and brushed a stray hair away from Cas’ eyes, but avoided eye contact. 

“It’s okay.” Cas told him. “Just tell me what you want.” 

Dean looked over to the window across the room while taking deep breaths. 

“I want… this, you. I want to feel you.” His voice was barely a whisper and his jaw was tight. Cas reached up to touch his chin and Dean looked down at him with an open look in his eyes. He didn’t say anything and came back to kiss him. A deep and almost desperate kiss that managed to make Cas’ toes curl. But when Cas’ hands came back down to Dean’s boxers he tensed up again.

“Dean… It’s okay we don’t need to do that.” Cas said. 

Dean shook his head. “I want to, Cas… It’s just…” He took a deep breath but Cas stopped him. 

“Why don’t you let me do it then? You’ve been with girls and know how to do that part.” Cas said and Dean swallowed. Cas sat up and Dean took a deep breath. 

“I want to do it. I just need to get used to it, that’s all.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Dean.”

“You won’t.”

Cas didn’t want to argue. The truth was he really wanted that too. Dean reached for lube and a condom before lying down with a pillow underneath his crotch. Cas took his time and eventually he pressed a slick finger against his entrance. Dean breathed out, they had done this before, that night by the pond and Cas whispered into his ear as he gave the finger a push. He worked slowly, stretching him out, talking to him and kissing him all over his back and neck. Eventually Dean got up on all fours and breathed faster. 

“Come on, Cas. I’m ready.” He said almost breathless. 

Cas still spent time making sure he could get inside him and pulled out. Dean let out a whimper and sighed long when Cas lined himself up against his entrance and pushed. Dean groaned and his upper body fell down on the mattress and his fist clenched the sheets. Cas let a hand run up and down his spine to help him calm and asked him to breathe. 

Dean was tense until Cas was all the way inside. He was sweating and started to focus on slowing down his breath. 

“You’re doing great. Feels so good.” Cas said and forced himself to remember that no matter how tempting it was to pull out and thrust back into the tight heat, this was for Dean. 

He held still until Dean started moving tentatively. Cas put his hands on his hips and pulled out just a little bit before pushing in slowly. Dean let out a loud moan and his breath hitched when Cas pulled out again, a little more this time, and pushed in to the sound of Dean’s moan. Cas kept to that pace until Dean pushed himself up on his hands again. 

“Aaahh, fuck, Cas. I need… ah. Move faster, man.” Dean gasped out. Cas moaned in return when Dean pushed himself back against him. He started moving faster, thrusting into him with more insistent moves, pulled out further and pushed back in harder. 

Dean pressed his knuckles against his mouth to keep the sounds down and Cas thought it was a shame. He wanted to hear it all. Cas thrust in harder and faster, he was about to lose his rhythm from the feeling of being inside the big, strong man that had started to meet him for every thrust. Cas let one hand slide down Dean’s hip until he found his hard dick between his legs and wrapped his fingers around him. Dean heaved his breath and when Cas started to stroke him Dean lost it. His hips seemed to be working on their own, thrusting into Cas’ fist and pushing back onto his cock. 

“Come on, Dean. I can’t hold back any longer.” Cas groaned and snapped his hips forward burying himself deep inside Dean, pulled back out before thrusting in one last time as he came hard. He stroked Dean’s hard cock a few more times and felt him tense and clench around him so hard it sent a new wave of pleasure through Cas’ body. 

It was a long moment before either of them moved, breathing hard and trembling slightly. Cas held his hands on Dean’s hips and pulled out slowly. Dean let out a pained sound and Cas bit hit teeth together, knowing this had to hurt.  
They both collapsed on the bed, shared a sloppy kiss before they dozed off.


	8. A great man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas learns more about Dean and his life.

Cas woke up the next morning tangled in sheets and alone. He sat up a bit disoriented until it came back to him and he heard the shower being turned off in the next room. Dean came from the bathroom soon after in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and smiled to Cas. 

“You’re awake. I wasn’t sure if I should wake you or let you sleep in.” 

“Well, you chose well. I don’t like being woken up too early.”

Dean huffed a laugh. “Too early, huh?” He grinned and showed him the clock which was already past ten thirty. 

“And your phone has been buzzing all morning.” He informed. Cas picked it up just to see he had missed calls from his mother. Come on, you would think she could leave him alone! He was an adult after all. 

“You want a shower? I can find some clothes for you and if you want we can head over to Benny’s after breakfast.” Dean said casually. Cas nodded. 

“I would like that, thank you. How are you doing?” Cas asked before he could stop himself and Dean blushed slightly but smiled. 

“I’m good. I’m very good, so don’t worry.” 

Cas walked into the bathroom, Dean told him where he could find towels and then he left him alone. Cas turned on the hot water and sighed. He felt a little stiff in his muscles and the hot water was bliss. The smell of Dean’s soap was surrounding him and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. 

 

Cas dressed in a pair of black jeans and a blue t-shirt that Dean had put on the bed before walking downstairs. It was quiet and it smelled of coffee as he turned around the corner and found the kitchen. Dean sat on one of the bar stools with a newspaper, a half empty plate with scrambled eggs and bacon stood in front of him. Dean looked up when he heard Cas behind him and stopped. He lowered his paper and let his eyes wander over Cas’ body with what could only be called a possessive look. Dean took a deep breath and stood up. 

“Looking good.” Dean smirked. “I made scrambled eggs and bacon.” He said and walked over to the stove. While he put the food on a plate Cas took his time to take in the surroundings. It was furnished dark, but the lighting and the colors on the walls were lighting it up a bit. He noticed that almost every wall was covered in photos of animals and people. 

Dean put the plate in front of Cas along with a cup of coffee. 

“Eat up.” He grinned and sat back down next to Cas. 

“Thank you. I didn’t know you could cook.” Cas said. 

“I don’t. Scrambling some eggs doesn’t count as cooking.” Dean pointed out. 

“Sure it does and it’s very good.” Cas took a big bite of his food. 

“Is that your family?” He asked and pointed at a picture of four people. Dean looked like he was about four, there was a baby a blonde woman and a dark man smiling wide at the camera. 

“Yes.” Dean said. 

“Is it rude of me to ask what happened to them?” Cas looked at Dean and watched him take a breath and force a smile. 

“Our mother died when the old house burned. I was five and Sammy was just past one year old. Our dad died three years ago.” Dean said fast. 

“I’m sorry. You two are doing a great job of taking care of this ranch at such a young age.” Cas commented but Dean just gave him a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. 

“We’ve been running this place since we were teenagers, man.” Dean said with a sigh and for a moment he looked so tired. Cas wondered if his thought about Dean and Sam being rich and having an easy time maybe was just a cover. He opened his mouth to ask more about the ranch and why they had been so young, but Dean stood up. 

“When’s the dinner?” Dean asked and took his empty plate over to the sink. 

“Around one I think. Meg and Benny have to be at the airport by four.” Cas sipped his coffee and decided to let it go. It wasn’t like he and Dean knew each other that well, he shouldn’t pry on the things he wanted to keep to himself.   
Cas finished his coffee and Dean flipped through the paper again. Eventually he turned on his chair and looked at Cas. 

“When do you go back to the city?” Dean didn’t look directly at him and Cas took a deep breath. 

“I don’t know. My parents will travel around for a bit, so I thought maybe I’d head back when they did. But I would have to ask Meg if I could live at their place and I don’t know if there’s anything I could do, so…” 

“Well. There’s work enough at this place if you are looking for something to do.”

“Yeah?” Cas smiled. 

“Sure. We could always use some help.” 

Cas felt his smile grow wider and Dean leaned into his space and placed a chaste kiss on his lips. Butterfly light and sweet and Cas was surprised. He had to work to wrap his head around the sweet sensation. Everything about Dean had been hard and fast since he met him, their kisses had been desperate and hot, but this was innocent in its sweetness. 

Cas’ phone broke them away from each other but Dean didn’t lean too far away and smiled so intimate it made Cas dizzy. 

His mother was stressed out about the fact that he was nowhere to be found and that Meg had asked about him to help out with the dinner. Cas tried his best to brush her off and promised he would be back soon. Dean huffed a laugh. 

“You need to get back?”

“Yeah, I kind of promised I would help them with the dinner.” He said. 

“That’s fine. You can borrow my truck; I can drive with Sam when we come over.” Dean offered and Cas took a moment to process how easy hospitality seemed to Dean.

 

Meg and Benny were in the living room at Amelia with Cas’ parents and all of them looked knowingly at him. 

“Oh, shut up guys. Let’s just get to work.” He told them with a blush at their laugh. 

Hester had been right. Amelia must have been working so hard for this that she had to be absolutely exhausted. She run around in the kitchen making sure the steaks was getting ready. Cas worked on the dessert and Hester and Meg made salad and sauce. The family feeling in the room was comforting and good; even the teasing just made it all feel right. 

Cas was glad that most of the attention was on Meg and Benny, as they were just married and about to go on their honeymoon. That way he could focus on that and not the fact that everything about Dean made his chest tingly and his dick twitch with interest. His green eyes constantly smiled, as did his full lips. Cas watched him as he talked to Chuck and how he threw himself into the laugh with his entire body. Cas had to remind himself that he already knew how his neck tasted, but it didn’t help. Now that he knew he just couldn’t get enough. 

After Meg and Benny headed off to the airport Hester and Chuck started loading up their rent car. 

“We were thinking about a week. Sure you won’t join us?” Hester put a hand on Cas’ arm. 

“Yeah, I’m good. I’ll check the tickets for the plane, and you could pick me up when you get back.”

Hester nodded. “Sounds good.” 

 

Cas headed over to Dean the next day. They worked together side by side; he had dinner with him, Sam, Jo and her mother Ellen. Dean dragged him up to his room after his guests had left and looked teasingly at Cas. Cas pulled him close to kiss him and Dean sighed content and wrapped his arms around Cas. 

It didn’t take long before they were on the bed half dressed rutting against each other. Cas groaned and wrapped his fingers around them both to stroke them together. Dean let out small gasps and moans, trying to keep it down, knowing that his brother was in the house. 

After they had cleaned up Cas was lying with his head on Dean’s chest listening to his heartbeats and feeling his hand making a soothing pattern over his arm. 

“You want to stay here?” Dean asked. 

“What is Sam going to say?”

Dean lifted one shoulder. “He won’t mind.” 

That was all they said about that topic. The next morning Sam greeted them with his normal smile, pouring coffee in two mugs and put them down on the counter in front of them. 

The next few days were spent the same way. They worked together through the day, had dinner and then slept in the same bed each night. Cas learned that Dean and Sam was working hard on their ranch and prepared for that weekend when they were going to have an open ranch-day for kids. It was mostly directed on children with special needs, and Cas was touched by their considerateness. 

“Yeah, we do this at least twice a year. Try and give the parents a day to relax while the kids have a great time.” Dean told Cas like it was no big deal. Cas helped them set up a program for the children. Sam prepared a treasure hunt and they got help from Ellen and Jo to make food for everyone. 

Dean was lying in bed on Friday morning and Cas was pressed against his chest. It was later than normal, but Dean smiled happily up at Cas, his hair sex crazed and his grin soft and open after a quick morning fuck.

“What made you start doing this for the kids?” Cas asked and loved this feeling between them.

“Well, I… it was probably because of Ben.”

“Your son?” Cas hadn’t found the right time to ask Dean about what Bobby had told him. And truth be told, he hadn’t thought about it too much either since they spent so much together, and a lot of that time was spent in bed. 

“How did you know?” 

“Bobby.” Cas said. 

“He’s not my biological son, you know.” Dean said and pulled him closer, and Cas couldn’t help that it made him feel a little bit better. “His father is an idiot, never showed up when he was supposed to spend time with him and when he did he wasn’t that nice to the poor kid. So when I was together with his mother I made sure he had a good time, that he felt like I cared and he still spends time with me. I love him like he was my own and Lisa trusts me to take care of him whenever she need some time to herself.”

“That’s very nice of you.”

“Anyway, sometimes when he gets up here to spend a few days he brings a friend, and I started to notice how much they loved it. Our father… well the last seven years of his life he pretty much drank the money we had, so we needed something new to bring in some funds and we started doing this.” 

Cas kissed his cheek. “You are a great man, Dean.” He whispered. 

“I’m just doing my job, Cas. Nothing great about that.”

“Yes it is. Most people don’t do this kind of selfless things, you know. Where I come from nobody is a great person.”

Dean didn’t like talking about it and eventually he got out of bed. The smell of coffee also made it impossible to keep dozing. 

“Sammy is up at the butt crack of dawn to run a mile or two.” He rolled his eyes at the mentioning of his brother’s routine. “It saves me from having to get up and make coffee, though.” Dean grinned as he pulled a pair of worn jeans over his hips. 

Cas staggered into the shower. His body was sore from working hard from morning and into the evening for five days straight. He wasn’t used to it, and when they got inside they often spent a lot of time in bed before actually going to sleep. Cas was exhausted. 

Sam and Dean were long gone when Cas came down for breakfast. He watched them work outside and felt bad that he had taken so long before coming down to help them. Cas ate some toast and grabbed his coffee and headed for the door. As he put on his shoes the door opened at he looked into a pair of brown eyes under dark ruffled hair. The boy stared at him, his eyes resting a moment on the AC/DC t-shirt which was Dean’s and then up at him. 

“Who are you?”

“I’m a friend of Dean. My name is Cas. Who are you?”

“I’m Ben. Do you live here?”

“Just for a couple of days.” He said with a smile. “Dean is outside.” 

“I know. I was just going to grab something to eat.”

Cas watched him jump out of his shoes and walk into the kitchen. 

Every last preparation was made through the day. Even a large sign at the driveway was raised and Cas was utterly impressed by the work they put into this, for one single day. Before they called it a night Sam and Dean gathered everyone that would be helping them the next day. There were a lot of people in their mid-teens that were there to help. Someone was going to lead the horses around; someone was helping the kids with the treasure hunt. Jo and Ellen had put up a stall with lemonade and crackers. It was all put up perfectly and there even were tables and benches spread out so the parents could relax. Cas was looking forward to the next day.


	9. Always on my mind

Dean and Sam greeted their guests the next morning in the yard. They told them what would happen through the day and then divided everyone into groups of three or four. Cas wasn’t assigned any particular job, Dean just told him to walk around to make sure everything went like it should. Cas was a little surprised at getting that responsibility when he haven’t done this before. 

He realized that he liked it very much. All of the kids were so happy. There were two kids in wheelchairs, one kid that was blind and three that was deaf. Then there was a few that had conditions that didn’t show when you first met them.   
Cas was stunned at how well Dean worked with the kids. He talked to everyone, smiled and really cared about what they wanted to tell him. That made him popular and they soon climbed all over him and Dean still was one big goofy smile. A few parents followed their kids around as they moved from the different activities and Cas watched a woman with brown hair, graying at the temples as she pushed her daughter’s wheelchair over the grass. She looked strong, and happy, but also really tired and Cas walked over to her. 

“Hello. I’m Cas.” He offered up his hand and she took his in a firm grip. 

“Laura. This is Theresa. We call her Tessa, don’t we?” She asked her daughter the last part which answered with a laugh and a nod. 

“Are you having a good time, Tessa?” Cas asked her. 

“Fun!” She said and threw her hands in the air. Cas laughed along with Laura. 

“Would you like a cup of coffee? I can follow Tessa around if that’s okay with you?” Cas looked from Laura to Tessa. The girl grinned up at him and touched his arm. Laura’s face softened at that and even if she was reluctant she let go of the handles. 

“I’ll call for you if Tessa want to talk to you.” Cas promised and Laura smiled. She told her daughter to behave and be careful before walking over to the terrace where Jo and Ellen had their refreshment. 

“So, do you want to tell me how old you are, or do I have to guess?” Cas asked. 

“Guess! Guess! Guess!” She yelled and laughed. Cas laughed. 

“Alright. But you better not trick me.” He warned and the girl laughed again. Cas was again surprised at how happy this girl was. Here she was in a wheelchair, she couldn’t run around, she didn’t speak that well, but she spread so much happiness around her and Cas could only find her dark curls adorable.

“Okay, so, I’m guessing that you are six years old.” He said and watched her. Her face was serious for a moment and then she grinned again. 

“I’m five.” She admitted. 

“Oh, I was pretty close then, wasn’t I?” He pushed the wheelchair into the small paddock where Dean had put some chickens. They were yellow fuzz-balls and Cas had held one in his hands last night and felt the tiny little bird. He caught one of the chickens and brought it back to Tessa. He squatted down next to her chair. 

“You want to pet it?” He asked and held it out to her. She reached out with a small finger and touched the head and her eyes widened in awe. Tessa didn’t say a word for several moments; let her finger run carefully from the head and down the back of the bird again and again. Cas swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat. This was the reason Dean and Sam spent so much time and energy on this one day. To know that these kids that may have a restriction in life by being born a little different, that they discovered something new and had the opportunity to explore. To watch them laugh and be like any other kid for just this day. 

Cas picked up his phone and snapped a picture of this girl to show her mother. Tessa looked up and grinned at him. 

“Soft, right?” He asked and she nodded. 

They spent some time with their group watching a few animals. There was a calf they could feed and a duck pond with different birds swimming around. 

After they had watched the birds they were going over to a paddock where the kids were able to sit on the horses for a lap around the track. Tessa could barely sit still in her chair and looked up at Cas with something between begging and desperation. 

“Sit on horse!” She said as Cas stopped in front of the fence. He sat down next to her. 

“Have you been on a horse before?” He asked and she nodded. 

“That one.” She pointed at a horse with a light brown skin and a beautiful black mane. Cas was glad the Dean was close by and looked at him for help. 

“Are the horses okay with this? I mean, they won’t run away when I help her up?”

“No, my horses have a perfect temper.” Dean patted his shoulder with a chuckle. Cas glared at him but nodded. 

He pushed the chair towards the horse Tessa had pointed out and like Dean had said; the horse didn’t even move when Cas lifted the girl up on its back. 

Tessa was in absolute bliss. She combed the horse’s mane with her fingers, hummed happily to it and wasn’t at all uncertain when they started moving. Cas followed them around and kept a hand close by in case the girl should slide off, but she held on and when they came back around the track she leaned forward and reached her arms as far as she could around the horse’s neck. Cas smiled at her. When she had enough she reached her arms out to him and he helped her back in the chair. 

The last activity was the treasure hunt. Sam had made it as a task for the whole team together. The clues were spread around and hidden well, but still in places that was possible to move with a wheelchair. Cas started to understand that even if the families paid a little to be there for the day it still wasn’t anywhere close to what they needed or actually could have charged these people. Cas was sure they would have paid a lot more, but then again, this was the country. He knew that things were done a little differently out here. People knew each other; they helped each other out instead of charging extra like anyone in the city would have done. Cas found that he liked that. The way people counted on their contacts and honored their promises. 

Tessa was almost asleep by the time they got back to the terrace. The girl was exhausted; she clutched to the stuffed animal resembling a chicken and smiled up at her mother as she came over. 

“Is everything alright?” Laura looked at Cas, pleading him to tell her that it was. He smiled reassuringly. 

“She’s been having so much fun. I think she just finally got enough, it is really exhausting running around like this and she is a girl on fire.” Cas said. Laura smiled warmly at him. He walked with them to a table where they got their food, sandwiches filled with ham and cheese and lots of fresh vegetables. 

Cas showed Laura the pictures he had taken. Pictures of Tessa and her team when they found the treasure, when she sat on the horse and at last when she touched the chicken. Laura held a hand over her mouth and looked at Cas with tears in her eyes. 

“What you do here is just amazing. We was here last time and she is still talking about all the fun she had. Thank you, Cas, for taking care of her, and these pictures… Could you send them over to me?” She asked. 

Cas promised he would do that and before he stood up Laura gave him a hug. 

“Thank you. This day has been great for both of us.” She told him. 

Cas squatted down next to Tessa. “I hope you had fun today.” He smiled and she nodded. 

“Fun!” She held out her stuffed animal and Cas petted it on the head. 

“That’s great. I would just thank you for today. I had much fun too, together with you.” He said and Tessa practically threw herself into his arms. Cas noticed Laura smile fondly at them and he smiled back. 

 

Cas sat by the dinner table with Dean, Sam, Jo, Ellen and Bobby that night. Ellen had made chicken and everyone was talking over each other. The day had been a great success and everyone had so much to talk about. What the kids did and said about it, how they had managed this with all of them, since a lot more had showed up than last time. Cas was tired and full where he sat back in his chair looking at the people around him.

Cas was surprised at how well they had taken it that he was around all the time. Ellen had given him a hug telling him how great it was to see Dean so happy, Bobby patted his back and Jo apologized for kissing him. He felt welcome and content being in their presence. 

Dean smiled at him now and again, touched his arm and engaged him in the conversation from time to time. Cas didn’t think Dean was aware at how often he reached out to touch him, and Cas wasn’t even aware until he noticed Ellen was looking at them with a smile. 

Cas pulled one leg under himself and leaned into the table. 

“You know what you should do? If you could figure out through marketing if people are interested, you should have summer camp. Maybe just two weeks to begin with, hire someone to work with the kids and let them live on the ranch for one week at a time. They could do some work, and you could have some games for them. That way you could make money, and the parents could get a week by themselves at home, or go on a trip of their own.” Cas felt how his voice lowered as he spoke and everyone turned completely silent. 

“Sorry. It’s just something I thought about since today was such a success.” He said and grabbed his glass. Dean squeezed his arm so Cas had to put it back on the table. 

“That is brilliant. Why haven’t we thought of that? We should definitely try and find out if this is possible.” Dean said looking from Sam and over to Ellen and Bobby who all grinned at them. 

“I agree, Cas. It really would have been helpful for this place and we all feel so great after a day like this.” Sam said. 

For a while everybody enjoyed coming up with ideas to this new potential. Sam wanted to make fun with embedded education, Dean mocked him and said they should have fun, and maybe do some work to learn what it was all about. For a while they wondered where the kids could sleep and realized that they might have to do some building if this was going to happen. They had one house which was big enough for someone to sleep in. 

“We don’t have to think about the practical stuff just yet, boys. The most important thing is figuring out if there is a marked for this around here.” Bobby told them. 

“You’re right.” Sam said and yawned. “I think I’m heading for bed. Thank you again for your help today.” He said and hugged Ellen, Jo and Bobby and gave Cas’ back a encouraging pat. 

 

Cas and Dean were lying in bed staring at the ceiling. Cas had opened the curtains and explained to Dean that he wanted to watch the stars from the bed and Dean smiled. 

“I should take you out to sleep under the open sky one night.”

“You actually do that?”

“Of course. We did that a lot growing up. Sometimes we had to spend days watching the cattle up in the mountains and if the weather was nice we never went into the tent.” Dean told him. 

“Sounds exciting.” 

Dean hummed in response. They were both tired after a long day and it was enough to lie there feeling the presence of each other. Cas had grown so used to this over the last week that he had almost forgotten that he would have to leave soon. Almost. 

“My mother called earlier today. They are heading this way and will probably be here on Tuesday.” 

“Oh.” Dean said and the silence grew long before anyone said something.

“So you will be heading back, then?”

“Yeah.” Cas whispered and there was a sudden pressure to his chest. Something heavy and cold had wrapped its hands around his heart and tightened the grip rapidly. 

 

Cas was back in town and already gone to work. He was hired in a small firm that was creating creative elements and layouts for other firms, helping them make advertisement that fit their products. Since he was new to his job he worked hard and long hours until he was sure the costumers would be happy. Cas’ job consisted in little field work and a lot of time behind a desk. He told himself that this was what he had worked for, it was his choice to have a job like this, and it was good. 

Cas also spent a lot of time with his friends. He missed Meg, but at least he still had people to hang out with. They went out on the weekends, had fun together, went to restaurants and got a little bit drunk. All this time Cas tried very hard not to think about the one he had left behind, the one with the prettiest smile and the most amazing person Cas could remember meeting. He tried not to think about him, but that was all he did. When he stared out the window at work, or when he had dinner with his friends. He wanted his friends to meet him and he hurt when he thought that he didn’t want him back. Dean Winchester, who had yelled at him the night before he left; who made Sam drive him to Benny and Meg’s house so he wouldn’t have to see him anymore. That man was always on his mind.


	10. I wouldn't hate it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas thinks that getting married to a cowboy and moving to a ranch has changed Meg, but he start to realize that she's not the only one that has changed...

Sam had been quiet on the drive back to the ranch and stared ahead until he stopped in front of the house to let Cas off. 

“Cas, why did you do it? Staying with Dean, I mean?”

“What are you saying?” 

“I’m just trying to figure out why you came to stay with him, when you knew you would leave anyway?”

“He knew that too, you know.”

“Didn’t stop him from getting attached.” Sam said with a hard look in his eyes. “You know, I’ve never seen him like this before, and it just seems strange to me that you could stay with him, acting like a… couple, and then you just take off like nothing happened.”

“I’m not taking off or abandoning him. And I do feel bad about it. But that was our agreement. It’s not like he asked me to stay.”

“Dean would never do that directly, but I heard enough of your fight to know that he practically could have begged you.”

“So you are saying that when he told me he never wanted to see me again, and that he couldn’t believe he started this thing, is a way of asking me to stay? I know when I’m not wanted anymore, Sam.” Cas said trying to talk around the lump in his throat. 

“You’re not unwanted, Cas. Fighting usually is a cover for something else. Even if you agreed before you came to stay I know that any agreement could be changed.”

“We both have our lives, Sam, far apart from each other. I have a job to get back to, an obligation and a contract, and Dean is tied to this place.”

Sam asked Cas how Meg and Benny managed to get it to work, but Cas told him they couldn’t compare this to what they had since they had met on neutral grounds, or as neutral as a college campus could be.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” Sam told him with a disappointed sigh.

 

From day to day Cas tried to focus on his work and social life to get away from the cold feeling in his chest and the memory of Dean’s eyes as he left.   
It had started out somewhat innocent. Cas had felt the rejection through the day, but it wasn’t until that evening after dinner that it all went to hell. Sam went upstairs and Cas stood by the sink rinsing the plates and casseroles. Dean had asked if he wanted to get back to Benny and Meg’s house that night or if he would stay until morning. Cas listened to the way Dean asked the question that he should be careful, knew that there was something that could go wrong, still he said that if Dean wanted he would like to stay that night. 

That was when Dean got mad and demanded to know if Cas just wanted to stay with Dean to have some fun the last days of his vacation. He tried to defend himself, to say that he really enjoyed getting to know him. After a while he just let him talk, Dean obviously needed to get this off his chest, and if he needed to say those things to Cas, then he would let him. Dean told him that he never wanted to see him again and that he always knew Cas really just wanted to get back to some city twink. 

Cas tried not to think about that part. It did hurt the way Dean spat those words at him, but then there was the fact that Sam had told him that Dean did that, he would rather push someone away if he thought that was what they wanted instead of asking something for himself. 

At night when Cas came home and his place was quiet, he started wondering about all of it. The ache inside was still fresh. He wanted to talk to Dean, get a chance to figure it out, but then he remembered that even if Dean’s eyes was sad when he left, his words never was. Instead of thinking too much he turned on the computer, logged on to his private e-mail and clicked on the list with answers on a file called: Summer camp. 

***

It was almost three months later that Cas got on the plane to visit Meg. She had asked him several times, but he always managed to find an excuse. Still, after two and a half month, he thought he might handle meeting Dean again, besides staying away from Meg that long was enough to make her mad. 

Meg knew why Cas didn’t come back sooner, even if they didn’t talk about it. She had asked him once when they were talking on the phone, but Cas wasn’t ready to talk about it and when he a few weeks later asked about Dean she said she wasn’t going to be some kind of middle-man between them. If he wanted to know how Dean was doing, then he would have to come up there himself. 

Now that he finally was back there Cas realized that in the five weeks he was there during the summer he had started letting the small things make him happy, like the stars shining through in the night and the soft fuzz on a chicken. Coming back he felt like he finally was able to take deep breaths again, because the air was fresh, the sky felt like it was higher and everything was more colorful. It wasn’t very realistic, Cas knew that, and a part of him was annoyed that he felt that way. Because the city was perfectly fine! It had nice parks with groomed grass, trees and pretty rivers with adorned bridges and romantic spots with benches. Cas was familiar with that kind of nature, but this had shown him that all his life he never knew what free and wild nature actually was. And who knew that one day Castiel Novak would actually prefer the latter? 

 

Meg was at least happy to see him. She had made dinner and as they sat down to eat it with Benny he felt welcome just like he had when he lived with them before the wedding. They told him about their honeymoon with beaches, drinks and diving. 

“Sounds like you were having a great time.”

“Absolutely, but I loved coming home even more.” Benny admitted. Meg rolled her eyes but smiled at him. 

“Benny doesn’t know how to relax, to kick back with a drink in his hand soaking up the sun.” Meg said with a fond smile. 

“You can’t expect me to lie on those beds listening to kids screaming and old men snore.” Benny insisted. 

“I know. That wasn’t my favorite part either. I liked the private beach a lot better.” She said with a grin and Cas huffed a laugh at them. 

Country music was playing from the living room, it was cozy inside and that helped since the air had grown a lot colder since Cas was there last. Benny talked at little about trivial stuff from the ranch and Meg talked eagerly about her new job. She had gotten a position at the local hospital and was really happy there. She told him that she got to know so many people and that at a small place like this it was kind of important to have a good relationship with the people she was supposed to help. 

“They all look out for each other, and if some newcomer is trying to disturb their normal patterns there is a chance you get unpopular fast.” She huffed a laugh. 

“Pretty different from back home, isn’t it?” Cas smiled. 

“Definitely, but I like it. You get a lot closer to these people; you actually get to know them. Their stories and you start caring about them.” Meg smiled. Cas shook his head a little but smiled. This was a different girl from the one he grew up with. That one had been harder, colder, didn’t let anyone get too close and afraid to care too much. 

“I can’t believe how great this place and probably your husband are for you.” He said and Meg gave him a surprisingly sweet smile. 

“Probably, yeah.” She said and Cas laughed.

 

Cas resisted for all of three days before he borrowed Meg’s car and drove over to Dean’s ranch. He was nervous like a teenager on his way to face his parents after doing something wrong. He didn’t know whether he would be yelled at, asked to leave or welcomed. He doubted the last part, though, and it would be alright, he wasn’t there to ask if Dean wanted to take him back. 

No matter how firmly Cas told himself that he shouldn’t be nervous, he was still sweaty in his palms when he knocked on the door. It was in the middle of the week and it was evening because Cas knew he had the best chance of meeting Dean at that time of day. 

Cas obviously wasn’t that lucky as he looked up at the tall guy towering over him in the doorway. 

“Castiel. I didn’t expect to see you here.” Sam said in a flat voice. 

“Sorry about that. Is Dean inside?”

He watched Sam take a deep breath and look down at him for a long time before turning around and yelled his brother’s name. Sam didn’t ask him to come and wait inside even if it was cold outside, and Cas didn’t move. He knew very well he was supposed to take whatever came to him so he waited patiently for Dean to show up. 

Cas looked up when he heard steps coming closer and met a pair of wary green eyes. Dean looked much like himself. His appearance was a bit more rugged with longer beard and hair, but Cas couldn’t be happier. Suddenly the heavy and cold claw around his heart got a little less heavy and the flutter in his stomach made him want to smile. For a moment they looked at each other, both looking like they wanted to break the silence and say something, anything to make everything better. Then Dean closed the door into the living room and cleared his throat. 

“I heard you were back here.” He said with a voice that was a little hoarse. 

“Yeah.” Cas swallowed as he nodded his head. 

“Didn’t think you would come out here, though.” 

“Sorry about that. I just wanted to give you something.” 

“If it is my clothes you had on when you left, I don’t want them.” Dean said. His voice was firm but his eyes showed hurt and Cas felt bad that he was the one who put it there. 

“Um… It’s not.” Cas almost whispered. He wouldn’t tell Dean that his old ACDC t-shit was lying on his bed back in the city. Cas used to wear it from time to time, and hadn’t intended to give it back. 

“Oh.” Dean answered and looked down. 

Cas held out a large envelope. 

“I just couldn’t leave it alone. You can do what you want with it. I wanted to let you know that this place has potential.” Cas voice shook just a little bit and he met Dean’s eyes, he was surprised that this meant more to him than he realized before. Dean looked a little more curious and reached out for the envelope. 

“What is it?” He asked. 

“Open it.” Cas told him. 

Dean looked inside and took out a stack of paper. As he read the headline he got a small furrow in his forehead. Dean kept reading down the page and Cas thought it was out of politeness more than actual interest, and maybe to postpone the moment he would have to respond to it. Cas felt his heart sink.

“You… Um. You did all of this?” Dean finally said and Cas nodded. 

“You researched the area?” Dean pushed when Cas didn’t say anything. 

“Dean I… if you don’t like it or think I am out of line I can just take it and throw it away. But I found out that people around here is more than willing to support this. It is a market for it whether you go for the stuff with work on the ranch or the other things with adventures of some kind.” Cas rambled on about his findings until Dean lifted one hand to stop him. 

“It’s okay. I just don’t understand why you did it.” He looked stunned, but his eyes had a sparkle in them.

“I wanted to. I like this place, I think it was interesting. Besides, it’s my job, the marketing part.” He said. 

Dean flipped through some more of the pages and stopped. 

“Is this a part of your job as well?” He held up a drawing of the barn with different solutions on how to make it into a place for someone to sleep, eat and be in.

“Not exactly.” Cas admitted, but before he got time to explain anything Dean gave him a smile and his heart made an excited jump. 

“You want to come inside? I want to show this to Sam and I think you would be better at explaining this stuff than me.” Dean watched him expectantly. 

“Um… Sure.” Cas stepped inside and closed the door behind him. 

 

Cas told them what he had figured out from his research and that there was no place offering something similar for miles around. With a little bit of deliberate marketing they would probably be booked full in a short time. 

“What would it cost to fix the barn like this?”

Cas looked up at Sam pleased to find that he wasn’t looking so angry anymore. 

“Well, there are some solutions that would cost more, but I only got hold of approximate costs from a firm in the city and they probably charge a bit more than the ones up here.” He told them and Sam nodded. 

“Let us look at this and then we can figure out if we should contact a carpenter or developer to get an estimate on the costs. Right, Dean?” Sam looked at his brother who turned to look at Cas. 

“Is it okay if we take a look at this, then you can get it back.” Dean asked. 

“Yes, that is no problem. It is your place so you should decide what to do with it.” He smiled a little and grabbed his jacket as he stood up. When he walked out into the hall Dean was there behind him and there was no sign of Sam. Cas had partly expected him to hover there to see him leave as silently as possible. 

“I wanted to ask how you’ve been.” Dean said looking at him with eyes that didn’t give away much. 

“Working mostly. What about you?” Cas tried. 

“Yeah, same here. Lots to do before we get the cattle back in for the winter.” He added and Cas smiled. 

“That is good.”

Dean nodded but the silence between them stretched out to be awkward. Cas cleared his throat and reached for the doorknob. 

“Let me know if there is anything you need me to clear up.” He said. 

“Sure, yeah, we’ll do that.” Dean agreed. 

“Okay. I think I will leave you too it.”

Cas hesitated. He wanted to say something, but all of a sudden everything between them was awkward and unpleasant. As he opened the door the cold night air rushed to greet him and once again he was surprised at how different the air around here felt. 

“Hey, Cas, how long will you stay?” Dean asked. Cas had stepped out on the porch and Dean stood in the doorway. He was lit up from the light inside the house and for a moment he looked so young. 

“Until Sunday.” 

“Oh.” 

“I only got the week off from work.” He said. 

Dean took a deep breath before meeting his eyes again. 

“Will I see you again before you leave?”

Cas looked at him. Dean’s eyes were hopeful and young, but he still showed some of the pain that had been present ever since their fight.

“Are you asking because that’s what you want?” 

“I wouldn’t hate it.” Dean said in a low voice and there was a smile tugging at his lips. 

“Then I wouldn’t hate it either.” Cas’ voice was husky with happiness and he smiled back to the beautiful man in the doorway. 

“Good night, Cas.” Dean said softly. 

“Until later, Dean.” Cas smiled and the thought of the smile he got back from Dean kept Cas awake for several hours that night.


	11. Sexy shirt

Cas was back in the city after his week on the ranch. He felt refreshed and better than he had in a long while. The time he spent there had turned out to set a few things back into place. Meg had been happy to see him and he spent a lot of time with her, either at her home baking or sitting in the living room talking to catch up with each other.

The best part was still that he went out to a restaurant with Dean one night. It wasn’t exactly a date, but they were alone at a small family driven place that served pizza. In Cas’ opinion it was the best pizza he ever tasted, but that could have something to do with who he was sharing it with.

Dean had talked a lot about the brother’s plans for the ranch and how they wanted to use some of Cas plans if he didn’t mind. They didn’t talk much about the time they had been apart, but they soon got over the awkward part and their conversation seemed to come easy.

Cas thought of the date as a way for them both to get past the bad stuff between them. None of them apologized using the actual words, but it was still there between them in the air.

“So will there be another three months until you visit again?” Dean asked his tone casual.

“I’ll probably be back by Thanksgiving, so almost three months, yeah. Meg threatened me to join them for the holiday and she invited my parents as well.”

In Cas’ opinion there was nothing worse than waiting for Thanksgiving to come around when that was the only real event he looked forward to as far ahead on the calendar he could see.

Even if he and Dean had sorted things out between them they were far from what they were for almost two blissful weeks during the summer. And maybe that was it? Maybe it was just a sweet summer-fling, having a good time in the sun, being together laughing, working, sweating and then move on when the summer was over. Cas didn’t want it to be over, but they lived very different lives and far apart. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. At least he had that little something to dream about. He realized that maybe it was time he tried to get past his feelings for the guy so they could stay friends the times Cas would visit.

Cas’ friends also wanted him to go out, find someone to take on a date. They urged him to forget about Dean and move on with his life. He thought that Dean probably did the same, and even if it hurt him to the core to think about Dean in bed with someone, anyone at all other than Cas, he had no right to deny him that. He should be able to do the same.

Cas let his friends set him up with someone, but every time he regretted going. The people were probably nice, but he kept comparing them to Dean. And in Cas’ mind, no one would ever get to that level. When the offer appeared at a party one night that he could get home with someone, just for the night he still felt bad. Even if he went home with the guy he felt like he was cheating on someone, that someone who was far, far away and not even a part of his life like that anymore. After that he decided he should just wait until he felt ready to move on.

 

When Thanksgiving finally got there Cas couldn’t get out of town fast enough. He took the flight with his parents who were looking forward to being out of the city for a few days. Meg had warned them about the weather so they had bought clothes for being in the snow.

Cas was embarrassed to admit it, but he never really spent much time in the snow. He had seen it of course, but only while he was passing through, or while being in a city. This, he was sure, would be very different from anything he was used to. His parents were already giddy at the thought of being out in the snow and Cas had to laugh at their enthusiasm, but he shared that feeling with them.

The only thing that put a dent in his mood was his nerves of seeing Dean again. They had parted like friends the last time, been able to move past the hard feelings, but it didn’t feel settled. It felt like something was bound to happen and he wasn’t sure whether he was ready for that or not. Or if the thing that would happen was another fight or something different entirely.

Cas had gotten his love for baking from his mother, so the first day at Meg and Benny’s place they were both in the kitchen with Meg. They made all the usual thanksgiving food with pumpkin pie and turkey. Everything smelled good and they all seemed so happy and carefree.

While they were inside Chuck were outside with Benny and every time he came inside he declared how great the weather was. He had discovered that he loved the snow, like first love. When they stepped outside on the airport all of them were surprised at the clear blue sky and how bright the snow made everything look. Back at the ranch Chuck spent almost an hour outside walking around in the fresh snow; making snowballs and acted like a child. Cas was almost embarrassed.

 

Thanksgiving dinner was spent with Benny’s parents. They had room for everyone, it was loud and warm. Even if Cas’ family was the newcomers this year they felt just as welcome as everyone else. Cas knew he had always been a kid with a good life. His family was close to him and he had everything he needed and again he was so happy that Meg had found a family like this, someone to make up for the lack of tradition and love she had from home.

At the end of their dinner Meg and Benny made the announcement that they were having a baby in the middle of next year and the loud chatter around the table reached a new level. Cas always knew this day would come. Knowing Meg he had learned that no matter how hard she made herself sound she was longing for a normal life, settle down and have kids. Cas of course was more than happy for her, at the same time he realized how different their life would become from now on. A part of him felt bad that he wouldn’t give his parents any grandkids, at least they had Meg and she practically was their daughter.

No matter how much Cas loved thanksgiving there was always a part of him that liked the day after even more. Nobody had to run around making sure the turkey would be perfectly glazed on the outside and juicy on the inside, or arrange a perfect crust on top of the pumpkin pie. Instead they would hang out in the living room having leftovers and listen to soft music. Everyone could be together since nobody had to stand in the kitchen and all of them were still feeling the high from last night’s dinner. It made them happy and dozed.

The atmosphere in the living room was relaxed and hushed. Cas’ mother sat on the coach and flipped through a magazine, Meg were practically lying in the chair across for Cas and had a pillow arranged over her belly. Chuck had his glasses on and worked on the remote to a small helicopter and Benny sat next to him reading in some manual for the thing. Cas sat casually arranged in one of the big chairs. He was dressed in a pair of worn black jeans that were ripped several places and his foot dangled over the side of the chair. His hair ruffled and he felt comfortable the gray AC/DC t-shirt that technically wasn’t his. What Cas wasn’t prepared for in his relaxed state was that the owner of said shirt came through the door alongside his brother. Cas momentarily felt on edge.

Dean and Sam stepped inside and everybody looked up to greet them. Sam sat down next to Meg and immediately congratulated her on the news. They were soon engaged in a conversation. When Cas dared to look up he met a pair of green eyes that looked curious but very surprised.

“Hey Dean, get over here for a moment.” Benny interrupted and Dean looked like he was glad for the distraction.

Cas sat quietly in his chair and from time to time he felt how Dean glanced in his direction. Sometimes their eyes met until one of them broke the contact and looked away. When Meg started talking about making some coffee Cas was happy to get up and away from the tension for a while.

Cas hummed along to the music seeping in from the living room as he was shambling around in the kitchen in a pair of thick socks.

“What are you doing?”

Cas spun around with a mug of water in one hand and a spoon in the other. He stared into Dean’s green eyes and reminded himself that he shouldn’t feel the way he did.

“Um… I’m making coffee.” He muttered and turned around to fill up the coffee maker with water. When he turned around Dean was right there behind him and before Cas could move Dean had placed his hands on the counter on each side of Cas and trapped him.

“I meant… What are you doing running around here in my shirt?”

Cas swallowed and was reminded once again how fast things changed if the attention from this guy was anything but good. Cas knew he had no chance of getting away physically or otherwise so he tried taking a calming breath.

“Nothing.” He tried.

“Come on, Cas. I thought you had thrown it away and then you show up here with it. It’s one of my favorites you know.” Dean purred close to his ear, but he was careful not getting too close. Cas fought the urge to bolt. The way Dean’s mouth almost brushed against his ear made him shiver.

“Do you want it back?” He asked.

Dean let out a soft laugh from deep in his throat and Cas closed his eyes at the sound that sent a thrill down his spine. When Dean didn’t say anything Cas dared to look up at him again and was met with his green eyes right there, and that mouth was so close he would only have to lean in a few centimeters and they would meet.

“Fine. I like it.” He confessed and Dean’s eyes wrinkled with amusement.

“I like it on you too.” He teased and pushed himself away from the counter and let Cas go. Cas forced down the feeling of disappointment and stared at Dean.

“You were making coffee?” He asked with a smirk and Cas turned his back to him quickly to continue the coffee making with his hands a bit more unsteady than before. He turned on the oven to heat up the pie a bit and when he went to the fridge to pick that up, there was no sign that Dean had ever been in the kitchen. Cas let out a long sigh.

As everyone was back in the living room Cas sat on the floor by the table next to his father. Between bits of pie and sips of coffee Chuck had fun with the helicopter they finally got working. He was flying around the living room until Hester gave him a stern look and he put it aside to the laugh of the others.

Chuck didn’t manage to stay away from the toy for long and since everyone started betting on how well he would fly it Hester didn’t say anything else. When Chuck crashed he handed it over to Benny with the challenge of doing better than him. They kept going on for a while. Cas was still sitting on the floor with his legs crossed underneath him. By the time the remote for the helicopter came to him the conversation had gotten into other stuff so he tried to figure out the flying by himself. He used to have one of those as a kid, but his father had probably played more with them than he had.

“Oh! Would you look at that? Didn’t think you had it in you, Cas!” Chuck laughed as Cas got the helicopter into the air, but when he gave his sons shoulder a friendly shove Cas crashed into the window.

“Look what you did!” He complained and ignored his father’s excuses. When he finally got the helicopter into the air again he maneuvered it over to the table and landed perfectly on top of it.

“Show-off.” He heard his father mutter and Cas grinned up at him.

“Honey, Sam told us you have made it possible for them to do some changes around their ranch.” Hester looked at Cas with too much understanding in her eyes. Cas hadn’t told her much about his thing with Dean, but he knew his mother well enough to know that she understood a lot without him having to tell her.

“It was just some paperwork to get them started, nothing much.”

“Thanks to you, man, we are almost done with the barn.” Dean said and Cas looked at him. He was surprised they had done so much already and he wondered if the tug in his stomach was because he felt he was missing out or something else.

“I think it was really nice of you.” Dean said and held his gaze.

“I like my work. It’s not like I did much, I just gave you some numbers.” He said gritting his teeth. Cas got up from the floor and started cleaning off the table. It was just a way of getting out of there and he knew most of them could see right through him, but he hadn’t been prepared for this, for all of them to talk about that. He didn’t need all of them to gang up on him. And he sure as hell wouldn’t tell them that he had done all of that only because he couldn’t get his mind off the oldest Winchester.

His mother came into the kitchen just after Cas and she leaned against the counter.

“Cas, what is going on with you? It’s not nice to snap at people like that.” She said and Cas felt like a kid again.

“I didn’t snap at him.”

“Alright.” Hester’s voice was soft. “But something is bothering you.”

“I never intended to make it a big deal. I helped them out because I liked the idea, so that’s what I did, nothing more.” He insisted and Hester nodded.

“It’s okay, Cas. But I think you should talk to Dean, he looked upset when you ran out of there.”

Hester walked back into the living room and Cas was alone with his thoughts. He really shouldn’t let this get to him, but somehow everything that had something to do with Dean got to him in some way. No matter how much he had convinced himself he had moved on, that was definitely not the case. He should try and work with that instead of lying to himself.

 

Chuck wanted to see what Sam and Dean was working on in the barn so the next day after lunch they went over there. Cas was really impressed with what they had done. It was a part of the ranch like the house, cozy and practical for kids and adolescents. He talked to Sam who told him they had interviewed a few people who wanted to work there, but they needed to get someone with more experience with children, especially those with special needs. Cas knew both brother’s were excited about this and he really liked Sam’s enthusiasm. It was contagious and Cas wanted so bad to be there, help them out and be a part of everything from the planning and till the camp was up and running.

Cas should have known. After seeing the guys in the mud, how could he think anything would be different in the snow? So when there suddenly were snowballs flying through the air past his head he tried to duck just to be hit in the chest. Benny howled with laughter and around them everybody was stocking up on snowballs. Chuck was in heaven. He had already spent as much time outside as he could and now he got an excuse to go nuts.

By the time they calmed down everyone were covered in snow. Cas hair was sticking out in every direction as he tried to force some control into it. He was in the back of the group as they walked back to the house. Dean slowed down to walk beside him, Cas thought, but when he got up beside him Dean dragged him around the corner of the house and pushed him against the wall.

“Dean what…?”

He didn’t get any further because Dean’s soft and wet lips took up all of his attention. Cas forgot everything around him and it didn’t take him long to wake up from the initial shock and kiss him back. That was all Dean needed and his hands were everywhere. A whimper slipped from Cas and when Dean pulled back just a little to look at him there was a gasp. Cas was pretty sure it didn’t come from him, but Dean’s smirk as he leaned in to kiss him again told him he might be wrong.

Dean’s body was pressed against Cas’, both of them were panting heavily and for a moment they stared at each other. Dean’s eyes were even greener than Cas remembered, or maybe it was the light from the snow that made them clearer.

“I’ve wanted to do that since I saw you sitting there in my shirt. Fuck, you look stupidly sexy in that thing.” Dean breathed and Cas groaned low in his throat when Dean pressed his hips closer. Sam’s voice made them jump away from each other, but when they walked back to the others Dean hissed that they were definitely not done with this.

Cas was practically manhandled up the stairs as soon as the others left for dinner. It wasn’t like he minded, not in the slightest, because Dean was really pushing the right buttons. Cas let himself be straddled on the bed and Dean bent over kissing him while his hands worked on his clothes. It was slow and fumbling until he sat up and growled annoyed at it all.

“Man… help me out here.” He begged and Cas couldn’t help the grin. But he did help. He pulled his sweater and shirt over his head and lifted his hips so Dean could get his jeans down his thighs.

Dean is back on top of him only wearing his boxers, but they fly soon as well. It was almost desperate. Their breathing was fast; they grunted and moaned into each other’s mouths and they couldn’t stop touching. It was like they were both afraid they wouldn’t get a chance at this again but didn’t want to think about it too hard.

Dean fished out lube and a condom and he was in such a hurry he was getting himself ready. Cas stopped him when he wanted to go too fast, he sat up and made an effort to get him ready like he should. When Cas picked up the condom Dean pushed him back on the pillows and straddled him again. There was no way Cas could get his eyes off the man. His cheeks were rosy and his body so strong. His thighs were flexed as he lowered himself onto Cas’ cock and they both let out a string of curses and moans.

As soon as Dean was fully seated he started to raise and sit down again. Cas held on to the sheets, when Dean started to ride him faster and harder for each thrust. They were sweating and panting; knowing they were alone in the house also made them a lot louder than they had been before.

“Fuck. Dean… I’m going to come… can’t hold back!” Cas gasped. It had been too long, and being there inside Dean with him riding him like this was all it took for Cas to come, way too soon.

“It’s okay, come on, Cas. Come inside me.” Dean said between gasps and Cas arched his back and let go with a sound that resembled a sob. Dean wrapped his fingers around himself and stroked just a few times before he spilled over both their stomachs.

He didn’t move at first, Cas was still inside of him when Dean leaned forward and kissed him on his lips.

Cas sat up tentatively after a moment in silence and walked in the bathroom to get rid of the condom and clean up. Everything was silent again and Dean didn't come into the bathroom before Cas was finished. When Cas pulled his clothes back on Dean was standing in the doorway looking at him.

“You’re heading back to the city tomorrow?”

Cas pursed his lips but nodded slowly.

“So when do you think you’ll come back?” Dean came into the room in his boxers and a t-shirt.

“I don’t know. Meg and Benny are coming to the city for Christmas. She wanted to try and contact her father.”

“And?”

“What do you mean?” Cas asked.

“What does that have to do with you?”

Cas didn’t know what Dean was trying to say because it had something to do with him. He was practically family with Meg and Dean knew that, so Cas kept staring at him both in wonder and while he tried to hide the hurt he felt inside. The dark heavy claw was back around his heart.

“If I asked you… to come visit _me_. Would you?” Dean finally said. He looked at Cas and his hands were twisting against each other.

“Um… wha… You mean for Christmas?”

Dean lifted one shoulder and smiled a little. “I guess any time is fine.”

Cas smiled then. Dean’s eyes had a lot of the same his own had, he was afraid something would happen between them again, but at the same time he wanted this. He actually did so Cas crossed the space between them and reached up to kiss him. The kiss held a lot of unsaid things and Cas let his hands sneak up under Dean’s shirt. When they pulled back Cas had a dazed smile on his face and Dean was grinning wide.

“I take that as a yes.” He whispered and bent down to kiss Cas’ nose.


	12. The world keeps spinning

Cas sat in one of the deep chairs on the porch. The pillows were soft; his feet were tired so it was just perfect sitting there watching as the stars started to lighten. Someone brushed a hand over his shoulder and Cas looked up to see Dean handing him a cup of tea. 

“Thanks.” 

“You tired?”

“My feet are.” Cas said with a small laugh. Dean sat down next to him and gave him a smile. 

“Well, you can relax tomorrow. Sam is finished with the trail he was making and I don’t have much left either. You have been working too hard.”

“Right. I won’t relax until you do, anyway.” Cas told him and Dean shook his head with a fond smile.

Cas thought about everything that had happened in the last year since he met Dean for the first time. After thanksgiving Cas had been visiting Dean at least once a month until in February he finally got tired of all the traveling and he started staying longer each time he visited. It had been some kind of gradually transition. They were in the beginning of June and Cas had been living there for a month. He wasn’t really moved in, he still had his apartment in the city and when his family asked he denied that he was living there, but for now he was always together with Dean and they both really enjoyed that without having to make it an official living-together-situation. 

The last couple of weeks had been very busy with getting the ranch ready for the Summer Camp to start up. They were fully booked for five weeks straight and the brothers were on edge, afraid they wouldn’t be able to pull it off. There was just so much to remember and take care of. 

“Can you believe it’s only four days until this place is crawling with people?” Dean asked. 

“It’s really great.” Cas smiled and Dean nodded. A few trainers and helpers, mostly young people who wanted to be a part of this as a summer job had arrived a few days earlier and Dean had taken the lead on that to show them around and assign their tasks. 

Almost every day after the long hours running around, Cas was making dinner. Sam had started to appreciate him being there and he really loved it when Cas made cookies. In fact, Sam was even worse than Dean when it came to stealing his food as he walked past the kitchen and Cas was so happy that he accepted him that he didn’t really get annoyed. 

On late nights like this Dean would always come outside with a cup of something hot to drink or a beer. He had commented on the way Cas preferred to sit outside instead of inside in front of the tv or just somewhere it was warmer. Cas had told him he liked to enjoy how the sky felt so big out here. 

“So you think we are ready to take in all those kids?”

“Sure. And they are just twelve kids, so I think we’ll be fine.” Cas smiled. 

They had decided to try and succeed with a low number instead of taking on too much and fail. The first two weeks consisted of children with special needs, and they had enough people there that every child would constantly have someone by their side. 

Cas was impressed at how well the boys had planned it out and as the place started to fill with people they handled stressed out parents who was afraid their children would get hurt or something like that. The first day was mostly used to get the children to get to know each other. They would be together for the next seven days and the camp was supposed to be a place for them to find new friends as well. 

After they had shown the children their rooms and then gotten them into the hall where they would be eating everything went by fast. Something happened all the time. From they were up in the morning and had breakfast with the kids, divided them into small groups for the day’s activity, went outside until lunch, ate and then back out until dinner. All of them were smiling from ear to ear and Cas thought that this probably was a bigger deal for these kids than they had realized. 

 

Dean and Cas were often so tired in the evenings that they fell into bed maybe shared a kiss or two before one or both of them were snoring softly. It did happen sometimes that they woke up early in the morning and Dean would sneak beneath the sheets to take Cas into his mouth. Dean had really gotten good at that in a short time and Cas would soon breath fast and beg him to make him come. If they had little time they sometimes just showered together and enjoyed a quick hand job, but in the beginning of the third week they were almost starving for each other. It had been a while since they were able to get in something other than the quick stuff, but Cas wouldn’t let it go on anymore.

Both showered after the day outside sweating in the sun. The third week was introduced to kids that were a over twelve years old and they mostly did work on the ranch. Sam took them out riding once a day while Dean showed them tricks on how to keep the place up to speed. They had also brought the kids out to a spot surrounded with trees and swam around in a lake. Dean didn’t want them to feel like they had to work all the time. 

Cas was lying in bed waiting for Dean to come out from the bathroom and when he did, Cas reached out his arms and Dean grinned as he sank down beside him and snuggled closer. 

“Damn, I’ve missed this.” Dean breathed out against his ear and Cas hummed in agreement.

Their kisses soon got deeper and more passionate and Cas’ hands started roaming over Dean’s body. Even with the small touches through the weeks this was what he had missed; some time to really be only with Dean.  
Dean pressed closer and Cas could feel the evidence of his excitement. 

“I want you inside me.” Cas said and Dean looked a little surprised at him. 

“Yeah?”

Cas pulled him closer and Dean was there solid and strong against him, ready to turn him around on the bed. As soon as Cas was lying on his stomach, Dean kissed a trail down his back and placed his hands on Cas butt cheeks and pulled them apart to reveal his entrance. Dean let out a whimper and Cas was sure he didn’t even realize he did it, but when Dean bent down and his warm tongue licked carefully over his hole Cas was the one whimpering. 

Dean was really good at that, he let his tongue tease the rim, he sucked on it and Cas could feel how easily he was opening up. Dean pushed his tongue deeper and soon Cas felt a finger push in alongside. He let out a moan and let his forehead fall down on the bed and he was already breathing faster. 

They hadn’t really done this before. Dean had sucked him off and played with his hole before, but he had never actually been inside of him. Dean pushed another finger inside and placed small kisses on Cas’ back as he worked it inside. Cas enjoyed the sweetness coming from this man, when they were alone he would sometimes let out this side and Cas really liked that. He groaned in surprise when Dean pushed a third finger in and knew it was because it had been a while since he had something big inside. 

“You alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Keep going.” He said and let out a breath. Dean chuckled but did as told. 

Cas felt the bed give as Dean moved to settle behind him and he took a deep breath to ready himself. He felt the tip of Dean’s cock at his entrance and his heart made a jump. 

“Dean, do it. I need it.” He said and Dean let a hand run soothing over his back. A while back they had talked about what this thing between them was. None of them was sure, but they agreed on being exclusive and had both been tested so they could have sex and enjoy it without a condom between them. 

This was all new to Cas. He had never been with someone long enough to bother getting tested, and the feeling, to be inside someone or feel the way Dean pressed inside of him was so good. It was every bit as good as he could have imagined, and then some. Because this was between them, something that made them even closer and Cas could barely hold himself up with that running through him. People had told him that sex was better with someone you loved, but he had always counted on variety and believed that changing partners often gave him that. He had been wrong, this was better. 

Cas had been craving Dean and now that he was fully seated inside of him he got a feeling of contentment. 

“Need you to move, Dean. It’s so good.” He whispered and Cas sighed relieved when Dean’s hands grabbed his hips firmly as he pulled out slowly. He was only half the way before he pushed back in, but he started a slow rhythm that gave him exactly what he needed. 

“Damnit Cas, I’ve missed this.” Dean grunted and picked up the pace. 

Cas let out a strangled sound in response and pushed his hips back against Dean to get him deeper and the thrust harder. Dean was holding on to him and thrust into him hard and fast, Cas knew he would feel it for a while after this, and he wanted that. He wanted to remember this. 

Dean’s rhythm changed and he went from the sweet and caring man and into this growling man with heavy thrusts. Cas knew he was about to come and when he felt a hand come down to wrap around his aching dick he let out a sound that resembled a sob. 

“Come on Cas, give it to me.” Dean panted and snapped his hips forward in a punishing pace and he stroked Cas’ cock in time with each thrust. Cas couldn’t hold back for long. With a gasp of Dean’s name Cas came hard onto the mattress and he heard Dean groan behind him as he thrust a few more times before coming deep inside of Cas. 

Slowly but surely their breaths slowed down and they went into the bathroom to clean up. The bed was a mess and they snuggled close to avoid the wet spot Cas had made. The room was dark and the only sound was the soft breathing heard from each other. Cas rested his head on Dean’s chest and listened to his heart beats, it was calm and familiar. 

“Dean? Why haven’t you told me you missed being on top?” Cas said quietly. Dean didn’t say anything for a while. 

“What do you mean?”

“You said earlier that you missed it.”

“I was thinking about you and me, like it’s been a long time since we actually fucked.” Dean said. 

“But I’ll admit it, I liked it, but it’s not like I will be looking for a girl. I’m more than happy just to switch once in a while, Cas.” Dean assured and Cas nodded. He felt a wave of relief wash over him and he could relax again. 

 

Cas had definitely not moved in with Dean, but Dean’s bedroom showed a different story. His closets were filled with Cas’ clothes, he had stuff placed along with Dean’s on top of his dresser and there was definitely sign of two people living together in his bathroom. They didn’t talk about it, but it was silently accepted. 

“Hey Cas. Put this on and grab that blanket.” Dean threw a hoodie at Cas and pointed at the blanket hanging over a chair. 

“What?” He asked. 

“I’m taking you up into the mountains to sleep under the stars.” Dean said as a matter of fact.

“The mountains?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll drive there.” He laughed and Cas looked down, ashamed. He might like the outside, but he was not a fan of long hikes. They had learned that the hard way when they were looking for a lost calf in the early spring. Cas had fumed and hissed almost the entire time and eventually sat down on a stone refusing to move one more step. Dean had laughed at him until he got tired of his complaining and told him to sit on that stone and wait for the mountain lion to come find him. They hadn’t spoken another word until they got back to the house and Cas had taken a very long shower. 

“Okay. But what about everything that’s going on here?”

“It’s all under control. We both need some time away, and since you love the stargazing, we can get some time to relax.” Dean told him. 

The weeks of Summer Camp was over. They had had a great time and some of the kids had already booked a week for next year. The weeks had been flying by and they were all pretty tired, but definitely happy about it. 

As they sat in the truck and drove towards the mountains Cas dreaded to think that he just had a few more weeks before he was supposed to be back in the city at his office. Even if he liked his job it was nothing like this. He had used a lot of his energy and creativity on this project; he had even made a homepage for their Summer Camp with pictures of the children and information on the activities. To advertise the place he had gotten permission to use the first picture he took of Tessa, when she was holding the chicken. It showed everything they wanted this place to be; happiness, experiencing new stuff and being alive, getting to knew new things and people. 

Even if Cas would be back in just a matter of weeks, he would still not really be a part of it all. 

Up in the mountain Dean parked the car by a river and the place had already been used as a campsite. Together they made up a fire, got their stuff out of the car and Dean tied a tarpaulin between some trees to protect them from some of the harsh night air. 

Cas shouldn’t be surprised that Dean was good at all of this. He had packed some food for them to heat on the fire and they shared whiskey from a flask. They talked about the weeks that had gone by without any major screw ups and Dean was already full of ideas for next year. 

“I know this was supposed to be something to raise some money, but honestly the best part is actually being with these kids! They are all so happy to be doing something useful and getting to know what it’s like behind the scenes of a ranch.”

“You and Sam really did a good job with those kids.” Cas agreed. 

“Next year I want to offer for the oldest kids to stay for two weeks, we can teach them how to throw a lasso and have a competition and so on. One week goes by way too fast.” Dean was still enthusiastic and full of ideas for their ranch. 

Eventually they crawled into their sleeping bags and with their heads rested on pillows they looked up into the sky. It was a clear night with a sliver of the moon and the stars were uncountable. Cas couldn’t believe how beautiful it was. Up there in the mountain they were away from any electric lighting so the stars were the only thing he saw. Right above them were a belt running across that was almost gray and Dean told him they were looking at the Milky Way. 

“This make me feel kind of small.” Cas said into the silent air. Dean grabbed his hand. 

“It is supposed to make you humble. Bobby used to tell me that no matter what was going on in life, this up there would always be there, safe like a roof over our heads. That’s why we like to think that the ones we lose are looking down on us from the stars.” Dean said. 

Cas wondered how often Dean had watched the sky and thought about his mother leaving them so early. He squeezed his hand but kept his eyes on the beauty in the sky. 

“I could just lie her forever and never go back. I feel like if I stare long enough I will eventually elevate and be a part of it all.” Cas let out a breath and knew he probably sounded weird, but he never had this as a child, and he never knew how much it would please him to just watch the stars.

“You could do that, you know.”

“Elevate?” Cas asked and Dean chuckled. 

“Sure, that too. But… I was talking about lying here.” Dean said. 

Cas sat up on his elbows and tried to make out Dean’s features in the dark. Dean was watching him and his breath came faster. 

“Lying here… with you?” 

“With me.” It came fast and Cas swallowed, afraid he would say something wrong and they would end up like last time. Arguing until they hurt each other enough to leave. 

A mountain lion screamed further up into the mountains but apart from that the world was quiet. Dean sat up and faced Cas. 

“I know you have your work back home, but… do you want to keep going like we have? Traveling back and forth, trying to push in some time whenever we can, and then be alone for several weeks before we finally can meet again.”

“I… It’s what we agreed on. I wasn’t supposed to move in, we wasn’t going to move too fast.” Cas said and he didn’t know why he all of a sudden felt like he was walking on unsafe grounds. 

“Come on, Cas we already live together most of the time. Sam looked into the open door one day and he asked why we didn’t just make it official when you already were living there.” 

“I know… but…”

“Don’t you want to, is that it?”

“No I want it, I really do. But how? I mean… I grew up in the city, I have work there should I just… what am I going to do here?” He asked trying to hide some of the desperation in his voice. 

In the nine months they had been together Dean had visited him in the city two times. The rest of the time Cas had traveled to him. It wasn’t like he minded, he loved this place, but moving there, that was a big step. Not only the moving part, but the thing about their relationship as well.

“You don’t think you would like being here all of the time, is that what you mean?” Dean didn’t sound angry. He simply wanted to know, to talk like adults without the fighting they had done last time. 

Cas took his time thinking through this, and he wished he could see Dean’s face a little better in the dark. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been thinking about it. He truly dreaded the day he had to walk on the plane and fly back to the busy city life, but they hadn’t really talked about their relationship. It had mostly just happened because they both wanted to spend more time with each other. 

“Dean. Do you really think I wouldn’t like it here? I mean, you have seen how I act around here?”

“Yeah I know. You are surprisingly fond of the stars; you mow the lawn just because you love the smell, and in the winter you was outside for an hour to build small snow ball towers and put candles in them.” Dean’s voice was soft and Cas felt himself blush. The way Dean described him, Cas sounded like a kid. 

“Don’t be embarrassed, Cas. I really like the way you seem to enjoy all of it. Sometimes I take it all for granted, because this is around me all the time, but with you around I really have to see it all again.”

There was no doubt in Cas’ mind that Dean loved his home. Dean wouldn’t have moved away from the ranch even if he was going to be with someone in the area. They would simply have to move to his place, and Cas sort of liked that. Even if the thought scared him a little, there was something about the strong ties Dean had to the place which made him even more attractive. Cas loved his home as well, but that was more in the line of convenience. He was close to his parents and most of his friends, his work was there and everything he needed was close by. 

Now though, not everything was that close anymore. Dean for one, lived several hours away even if he traveled by plane. Meg lived far away as well and Cas had really grown to love the place they were living in. 

“I… What about us?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we’ve kind of been together for almost a year. Do you think we are ready to move in together?”

“Cas, you have been living with me on and off for that year, of course we fight from time to time, but… that’s what this is about. We get to know each other, we fight, we make up and move on.” 

“It’s that easy?” Cas asked dubious. 

“I don’t know, man. I’ve never done it before.” Dean shrugged his shoulders and huffed a laugh. 

“Cas, listen. I… Before I met you I would go out with my brother, we met up with friends and had a good time. Sometimes there would be a guy, someone that caught my attention and we could share a glance across the room or something girly like that. But I would always back down, I was scared that someone would think something about me or you know… I wasn’t ready. I don’t know.” Dean took a deep breath and stared up into the sky for a moment. Cas waited patiently. 

“What I’m trying to say is that after being with you I feel different. I feel like I want a real relationship.” Dean seemed like he wanted to say something else but he stopped. 

Cas and Dean had been talking about their past life and Dean knew that Cas never had been in any real relationship before. That he always moved on long before deep feelings developed. 

“I know, Dean.” Cas told him. 

“So why don’t you want to try it?”

“What if we can’t do it?”

Dean grabbed one of Cas’ hands. 

“From what I’ve heard, if you want something to work, you just have to work on it. It’s not like it will all appear by itself.”

Cas felt stupid that he needed to be told these things. He knew about it. That’s what his parents always told him. If Cas wanted a relationship to work, he had to want it, and work in it as well.

“So the question is; do you want to work on it?” Dean leaned closer. 

“I want to, Dean.”Cas whispered and felt soft lips press against his own. Dean held him close and kissed him. 

“Believe me, I’m not this kind of needy person, but I really want you to move in with me.” Dean said after pulling back just a little. His breath was still hitting Cas’ face on every exhale. 

When Cas looked up the sky was just like it should be. They were talking about taking this big step, but like Dean said, nothing changed up there just because something happened in their lives. Cas admitted that he didn’t want to leave Dean and even then, the sky was still the same, but his heart had felt a change. 

 

Cas would always remember that night as one of the best of his life. When he told his parents or Meg that he’s most precious memory was from sleeping on the ground outdoors they looked at him like he had grown an extra nose. But he didn’t tell them why, because that was the night he realized that he didn’t just like Dean or found him attractive. That was the night he knew that he loved him, and that he wanted nothing more than to make that man see that. 

Up there in the mountains they were lying side by side holding each others hands staring into the stars. They talked about their life and planned the future. Shared their memories and told each other about their dreams and wishes for a life together. 

Cas was still a bit shaky when he and Dean packed all his stuff into bags to move them out of his apartment and drive far away, and he spent a lot of time trying to figure out what kind of person he was going to be. Now that he wasn’t a city boy anymore, he needed to become someone that was a part of this place without forgetting about himself. Dean had given his shoulder a slap and grinned “Welcome home, man.” And those were also one of Cas’ favorite words, because this, this was home. 

Together they worked on their summer camp and it eventually grew into becoming their passion. Cas worked on promoting and advertising through the year, they planned new and exciting stuff to do and since it in the majority was ruled by three young men the place got popular fast and made a lot more money than they had thought they would. 

Cas couldn’t imagine something better and slowly but surely his former life in the city was just a memory. Cas still sat outside in the evenings rocking back and forth in the porch swing. Dean used to tease him about making a Cas-shaped mark branded into the swing for sitting there so much, but would join him and hand him a beer or a hot beverage. They would sit there watching as the night crawled closer and the day had to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the end of the story. Thanks for reading it, folks and i hope you found something you liked!


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